Ice Cream and Confuscious Say

Today in Wal-Mart while staring at miniature cups of ice cream I arrived at a few conclusions…  January is coming to a close, and I’m already SEVERELY slacking on my “resolutions”. Resolution #1: Don’t make resolutions. Change today, and don’t taint your goals with commercial commitment … yeah, right.  I succumbed to all the usual ones; weight loss, grades, better job, as well as a few personal ones intended to foster my self-growth. So far, I’m exactly the same height, weight, GPA, and tax bracket. I wasn’t expecting all my dreams to come true over night, but SHEESH!, NO progress!?
While trying to determine whether or not the mini cups of Haagen-Dazs at 4/$5 were worth it, the answer came to me. It was almost like magical writing on a wall;  in this case, frosty scrawling on a glassy freezer door. Nevertheless, dazzling and impressive. (BTW: I decided on “Cherry Garcia” by Ben & Jerry’s) Although this may sound like kindergarten wisdom, I make things happen. I turn doorknobs, I pick my nose, I paint and repaint the fingernails of my right hand because my hand-eye coordination is SHIT! I do all these things. I sit idly by and lose staring contests with my to-do lists. (Dammit I ALWAYS blink!) I’m avoiding my responsibilities right now… *sigh*
Conclusion numero tres…  I am a pink-belly’d LOSER when it comes to some peer-pressure. Not even the cool kind to puff the magic dragon or drink the Devil’s bath water. (I don’t actually know anyone that calls them these things.) I fold under the pressure of “Hey Roze let’s go to the movies” knowing damn well I have homework, or “Let’s make a quick trip to the mall”. NO MALL TRIP HAS EVER BEEN QUICK!!! I don’t think I place enough value on what is truly important to me. I’m always fulfilling these roles for OTHER people’s happiness. I should have been asleep HOURS ago… but instead I’m here talking to you guys. SEE WHAT YOU DO TO ME!? SELFISH!!!
In Middle school we listened to a speaker talk about how to overcome peer-pressure with certain steps.
It went something like this …
These moves also kinda sound like they can be used in a Kung-Fu battle. (How dare you insult my dojo, I’ve shown you mercy, but NO MORE *roundhouse kick to the face*) I think I’ll practice them right now. *takes deep breath, assumes the position, uses healthy “I FEEL” statements to avoid placing blame* “I FEEL like a lot of my acquaintances are wasting my time. I FEEL like ‘Law & Order’ is a deliberate plot against my education. I FEEL like ice cream shouldn’t be that damn expensive. I FEEL that procrastination is a genetic defect that is unfortunately the dominant allele therefor anyone that would research it, is putting it of till tomorrow because ‘[they’ll] be more productive then’.”
Random Thoughts:
1. I had to Google the past tense of succumb
2. I’ve been eating a FUCKLOAD of chocolate-covered mini-donuts lately
3. I have an unhealthy obsession with “mini” things
4. I have a test on the 6th that I’m about as prepared for it as one can be for a root canal
5. I’m in a random flexy area in my life and I don’t really know WTF I’m doing most of the time
6. I think 5 things is enough things… cool
7. Notice I never listed any more resolutions… #mindheck
I just wanna pass go and collect $200 already… AAARRGHHH!!!!

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When Roze first went in 2012,  it was kind of like a journal ... that other people could read. Embarassing. But I'm realizing that my voice, my experiences, my representation and narrative are valuable. There's room enough for me too. My talents and interests. My time is now. Roze

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