Ice Cream and Confuscious Say


 
Today in Wal-Mart while staring at miniature cups of ice cream I arrived at a few conclusions…  January is coming to a close, and I’m already SEVERELY slacking on my “resolutions”. Resolution #1: Don’t make resolutions. Change today, and don’t taint your goals with commercial commitment … yeah, right.  I succumbed to all the usual ones; weight loss, grades, better job, as well as a few personal ones intended to foster my self-growth. So far, I’m exactly the same height, weight, GPA, and tax bracket. I wasn’t expecting all my dreams to come true over night, but SHEESH!, NO progress!?
 
While trying to determine whether or not the mini cups of Haagen-Dazs at 4/$5 were worth it, the answer came to me. It was almost like magical writing on a wall;  in this case, frosty scrawling on a glassy freezer door. Nevertheless, dazzling and impressive. (BTW: I decided on “Cherry Garcia” by Ben & Jerry’s) Although this may sound like kindergarten wisdom, I make things happen. I turn doorknobs, I pick my nose, I paint and repaint the fingernails of my right hand because my hand-eye coordination is SHIT! I do all these things. I sit idly by and lose staring contests with my to-do lists. (Dammit I ALWAYS blink!) I’m avoiding my responsibilities right now… *sigh*
 
Conclusion numero tres…  I am a pink-belly’d LOSER when it comes to some peer-pressure. Not even the cool kind to puff the magic dragon or drink the Devil’s bath water. (I don’t actually know anyone that calls them these things.) I fold under the pressure of “Hey Roze let’s go to the movies” knowing damn well I have homework, or “Let’s make a quick trip to the mall”. NO MALL TRIP HAS EVER BEEN QUICK!!! I don’t think I place enough value on what is truly important to me. I’m always fulfilling these roles for OTHER people’s happiness. I should have been asleep HOURS ago… but instead I’m here talking to you guys. SEE WHAT YOU DO TO ME!? SELFISH!!!
In Middle school we listened to a speaker talk about how to overcome peer-pressure with certain steps.
It went something like this …
These moves also kinda sound like they can be used in a Kung-Fu battle. (How dare you insult my dojo, I’ve shown you mercy, but NO MORE *roundhouse kick to the face*) I think I’ll practice them right now. *takes deep breath, assumes the position, uses healthy “I FEEL” statements to avoid placing blame* “I FEEL like a lot of my acquaintances are wasting my time. I FEEL like ‘Law & Order’ is a deliberate plot against my education. I FEEL like ice cream shouldn’t be that damn expensive. I FEEL that procrastination is a genetic defect that is unfortunately the dominant allele therefor anyone that would research it, is putting it of till tomorrow because ‘[they’ll] be more productive then’.”
 
Random Thoughts:
1. I had to Google the past tense of succumb
2. I’ve been eating a FUCKLOAD of chocolate-covered mini-donuts lately
3. I have an unhealthy obsession with “mini” things
4. I have a test on the 6th that I’m about as prepared for it as one can be for a root canal
5. I’m in a random flexy area in my life and I don’t really know WTF I’m doing most of the time
6. I think 5 things is enough things… cool
7. Notice I never listed any more resolutions… #mindheck
 
I just wanna pass go and collect $200 already… AAARRGHHH!!!!