Gainfully Un-employed!

I probably shouldn’t sound so cheerful. [Adjusts tone] “Woe is me, I have no place (of employment) to call my own!” No one leaves brimming with joyousness from their last day of work or, or punching the clock that final time … unless they win the lottery. I walked in like a BOSS [pun intended], kicked over a display, slapped some merchandise out of a customer’s hand, and gave the people’s elbow to a toddler. It kind of looked like this:

That is most certainly NOT what I did. Today I quit my job; quietly and with as much grace as I could muster. After I handed my manager my carefully written letter of resignation, I cried a silent thug tear (a single hot tear that streams down your cheek), smiled, and got a Deluxe Chic-fil-a sandwich.  I know how crazy it sounds: quitting your job without a plan B, especially in this economy, but I HAD to. If you knew how much heartbreak it caused me, you might be more inclined to agree.  So in spite of my fear, got my baby eagle on, and flapped my wings with no branch in sight. Now I stand on my proverbial mountain-top and scream my allegiance. I am #TeamJoblessBetches!! Shoutout to the Jobless Betches over at, two unemployed fashionistas after my own heart!

In other news, a few more writing opportunities have presented themselves and I’ll let you know how those turn out in time. I’ve been super thrifting lately and getting crazy crafty!! Like white-haired, Back To the Future, Doc Brown crazy!! I’m currently working on two jackets and getting together with my stylist-in-the-making friend Crystal. (You can check her out at @WiseKouture) I’ll give you a hint …acid wash. Also, I’ve been having a hard time getting up in the mornings. Not like osteoarthritis hard time, more like “depression hurts” hard time.

It takes me around four full hours to get out of bed. I remember being so full of hope when this summer started. I made of list of worlds to conquer and experiences to savor. I am HARDCORE losing! All  I’ve learned is that I eat a crapload of yogurt. I learned I eat when I’m bored. I learned that I can sleep longer than the average tree sloth. I learned that no amount of gym time is sufficient to remove a F.U.P.A. (don’t worry, it’s a little one) I’m trying to land another gig and relish what’s left of my break. School is right around the corner and I feel SUPER unaccomplished. … [quiet childlike tone] I have grown though. I’ve learned  so much about myself this summer; solitude will do that to you.

I’m glad I have y’all for my adventures and misadventures.

Yogurt, Wrestling, and Unemployment Checks


… BTW listen to these songs… they’ve been all on my brain like wrinkles.

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