Fall Cleaning

It’s that time of year again, when students like myself stuff their lives into garbage bags while toting unwieldy miniature refrigerators. Ladies and gentlemen it is MOVING SEASON! Far, far away in a land called Undergrad, sweaty, red-faced boys and girls whose leases have expired are preparing for the onset of the upcoming academic year. How do we celebrate? Our principle celebration consists of moving from one cramped or otherwise undesirable collegiate living circumstance to another; awaiting the opportunity to awkwardly introduce ourselves to a stranger that the fates have brought into out paths. In the spirit of this waonderful holiday I chose to engage in some “fall cleaning” to alleviate the clutter and busy-ness of my room. While cleaning I stumbled onto a bunch of memories I had squirreled away and discovered a few truths.

1. Keeping things for the sake of “memories” is the Hallmark card phrasal for hoarding. By that logic, that makes me a hoar. I keep meaningless items as placeholders for once-relevant sentiments. Things aren’t memories, memories are memories.  Memories don’t have mass, or occupy any quantity of volume. Hanging on to a few meaningful items is fine (as long as they don’t hinder your personal development), but when they’re middle school book reports or the crust-covered band-aids of boyfriends past, it’s time to admit you have a problem.

2. I am a self-starter. Full of enthusiasm and ambition. However I am not always a self-finisher. Some of the things I found while cleaning only proved this. Case in point:

photo 1
What is this? A scarf-beanie hybrid?
photo 2
photo 3
How do you WEAR this!?

So many of my projects, my dreams, my endeavors started and end like this: I start with all this jazz, get distracted or dissuaded, and eventually hide them away for the mystical day that all procrastinators believe will come. That day will be full of follow-through and commitment powered by a surge of never-before-seen responsibility. On that wondrous day I will evolve into a Level-3 GROWN-UP!!! [That’s the highest level of maturity and productivity; reserved for moms, Martha Stewart, and Michelle Obama]

3. Dissatisfaction is fuel. While fall cleaning I came down with a bad case of the sads. I was painfully dissatisfied with my achievements and started to feel so stagnant. I NEED more. From every facet. I want to finish scarves, screenplays, poems and short films. I want to pursue my goals aggressively, every one. I will hunt them down. Follow them from the grocery store and hide in their bushes.  Kill them in their sleep and watch the light die in their eyes. [WOAH! That went to a dark place!]

How about I just pursue perfection so that I can achieve excellence and we’ll leave it at that?

Welp, I’m back. The internship is over. Learned a lot. Mostly about myself. Looking forward to the end of my collegiate career. Hope this lasts.

Faith and Fall cleaning,

Roze Goes.

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