Well mostly don’ts…
“Society” (the nebulous, all-encompassing, omnipresent and potent pit into which we throw all our taboos and constructs, no-nos and blame-shaming) is full of edicts for how women should think and behave. In fact, there’s one right there! Society tells us that society tell us things ::makes Cornell West hand gestures::. Throughout my life I’ve stumbled upon a few truths on the path to unlearning some of the things “Society” has taught me. I’ve put together a list (you know how I feel about lists). Here are a few things I think like-minded young ladies should
do don’t; a to-don’t list:
- Don’t keep apologizing. If you’re not a compulsive liar, or just intent on hurting someone’s feelings, you probably said it because you meant it. Why are you sorry? For taking up space? For not giving in to someone else? For having a different opinion or perspective? For standing up for yourself? Taking care of yourself first? There’s a difference between being polite and being a doormat, honesty and rudeness. Be who you are, say what you mean, and be unapologetic. (but don’t wield your truths all up in nobody face, juh chill)
- Don’t be so afraid of wasted time. I know. Whether it’s on a wasted endeavor, or a failed relationship time is the commodity of which we have the least. Every second you’re alive your cell-turnover rate slows and you creep closer to death. I understand. But you can’t let that stop you from filling as many seconds as possible with meaning. So savor your breakups, learn from your mistakes and build on the time you have left. Regret is NOT a time machine!
- Don’t be so nice. Stop the sweet-like-honey act, you just end up catching flies. Who wants flies!? Catch butterflies! catch dragonflies! catch DRAGONS!! Especially when it comes to guys. The world is not some male-driven customer service experience. You are not ice cream. “Nice” is not a flavor you have to offer yourself in. Stop busying yourself with small-talk, remembering co-worker’s birthdays, and making sure you hand sanitizer for everyone if that’s not who you really are. You can be kind, forgiving, understanding, and genuine without being made-up “nice”. Lame.
Blah-zay, blah-zay squash. I think I’ll keep this up. My List of Don’ts. I’ll periodically update when the inspiration strikes.
In parting I leave you with this…