Close your eyes and imagine the following. Well, just close one eye, you still gotta read.
Imagine studying tirelessly for years; working day in and day out to eventually win the title of medical doctor. Only to have 80% of your patients think they can out-diagnose you with WebMD. Everyday your many years of study, apprenticeship, and practice questioned by someone that can’t even spell what they think they have, and worse yet, are responsible for making themselves sick!
That’s what you look like second guessing the captain of your own ship – you! {*cough*Roze!}
You’ve circled the sun so many times. You’ve watched your entire life play out in front of you in Hi Def. Yet and still you doubt the most accurate account of your life to have ever been created. You’re so full of doubt that you’d let someone else write your autobiography!
Failure is an impeccable teacher. Unfortunately, what we sometimes learn, is that we can’t trust ourselves: our instincts, our feelings, our ability to make decisions. So you subscribe to outlets and newsletters promising that they can help you de-clutter both your brain and closet. Before long, you wind up with an inbox full of so many other people’s two cents that you are slowly going bankrupt. Letting ’em drown out the inner voice you used to cultivate.
Now we read things like:
- 10 Trends Our Editors Predict for 2017
- 8 Ways to Get Ahead in Your Career Field
- Eat THIS to get the body of your Dreams!
- Celebrities Swear by THIS Special Secret Blood Ritual
- Don’t Poop Until You Read This!
Can you tell I really like The Wiz? #TeamUzoAduba
I get it. We’ve messed up. We’ve made terrible decisions with our credit, ambitions, outfits, favorite colors, and relationships. It’s easier to think someone else is doing better, or even doing it better. You’d rather be vanilla yogurt than admit you’re afraid of what might come tumbling out of your big dumb facehole.
You do a little comparing because it makes you feel good. If someone is doing better than you, the work is half done. Now, all you have to do is follow their instructions. But they can only half-teach you how to become the Metro PCS version of them. Guidelines can be gleaned from others. Little pearls of wisdom. You can’t steal their necklace, no matter how shiny.
Take my dawg Patricia here. I don’t actually know her. She makes helpful YouTube videos. Her numbers might suggest that her videos are unpopular, and maybe she’s compare herself to other YouTube-ers. Nonetheless, she’s living her truth and exploring her niche.
By now my inner voice is cracked and raw. Sometimes I have to silence my whole life to hear it. Too long I was telling it to hush, hiding it in the utility closet whenever company would come. I’ll shush my whole life to hear myself. I don’t trust anyone else more. Not anymore.
In parting, I leave you with the words of Katt Williams. A famed professor of culture current events… till that middle-schooler. {sadface}
It’s the assurance of your MF SELF!
(Ignore the cursing. Just swap out the references to ladies, fellas. This applies to you too!)
Roze Goes,
In search of a quiet place to listen to herself …
rozegoes.com 