There. I said, and I stand by by it. Who gon’ whoop me?
I’m HERE for his big sensitive lavender utilitarian conservationist ass! 💜😈😚
Thanos has been lurking in the shadows for more than a decade quietly orchestrating our obliteration. He is the villain we truly deserved and finally made his big debut (how very M’baku!) in Infinity War. Calculated, patient, and not given to long speeches where he gives away the entire plan. He is the perfect comic book villain!
He’s a formidable foe, and at times is even surprised by how resilient his opponents can be. Not an inconvenient speed bump, but a clear and present threat! [side eyes you Erik Killmmonger supporters 😒 IDC IDC! Fight me! He was just fine and quotable!]
BUT, clearly he had some redeeming qualities.
1. Fighting intergalactic hunger, pollution, and quelling our environmental impact are his passion projects. He’s basically big purple PETA!
2. Seemed a pretty ok Dad, for two beautiful and fierce daughters. Parenting is work!
3. A great planner. Super committed. Really focused.
4. Amazing body. 🤤💪🏾🏋🏾♂️🍆 (maybe)
5. Compassionate and FULL of feels!
6. Wonderful smile 😀
And that’s what I like in a man: forethought. A plan, not just potential. Proper pre-planning prevents piss poor performance, and let me tell you, my baby showed out!
I was slain too, but I’m ok with it. 🤷🏾♀️
Without giving away too much, I can say that he took your faves and left some too. We don’t know what’s about to happen. Well… there are theories. Mine, at least.
Conspiracy theories include:
1. They aren’t dead.
2. He said half of all life in THIS universe, so they’ve been transported to another universe.
3. In said universe, the not-dead heroes will devise a plan to return. 🧟♀️👩🏾🎤👨🏾🎤🧟♂️
4. There they’ll meet up with other heroes in the Marvel sphere. Maybe even their other iterations!
5. Somehow they’ll get the gauntlet and reverse what Thanos did, and unkill everyone!
6. Finally, perhaps this is the one workable outcome that Dr. Strange saw! Maybe it’s a sat up for an awesome comeback!
1. Why exactly did Heimdallr have to die!? My love, Idris Elba, was in the movie for less time that Chris Brown’s character in “Stomp the Yard!” Pitiful. But, he got a check nonetheless – bonus!
2. Why was young Spiderman the only one to disintegrate as slowly as he did? Was it the suit? He had enough time to make everyone cry!
3. Who’s gonna lead Wakanda? OMG 😮 is it M’baku!? 🙉🦍
4. How do we know Captain Marvel wasn’t purged?
5. Where the heck was Nick Fury’s eye-patch havin’ ass the whole time?
It’s a difficult relationship, but I’m loyal, and we’ll see it through until the reveal next year.
Love you bae!
AFTER CREDIT BONUS:
What are YOUR theories about how this next mega Marvel instillation will unfold? Who do YOU wanna see make a cameo? Also, do you think Stan Lee has pre-filmed all his appearances for when he dies?