(Self) Love in the Time of Corona Pt.1

Thankfully motivation is like showering; done often, and thoroughly, and sometimes with friends. Sometimes we pursue things in name but not in practice. I’ve been working to remind myself that discipline and consistent action are key. Its hard now. Harder than it’s been for many of us.

Time is melting by. Many of us feel trapped between planning and surviving. Between resting and thriving. Outside is an urban legend. Somehow I’m interacting with MORE and LESS people than ever before! Zoom taunts me. Throwing lonely people together in a game of household Celebrity Squares. Lots of conflicting posts guilting us into productivity to succeed in a world desperately clinging to “normal”. The other camp insisting that we double down on self care “in these unpredictable times”. Automated sentiment sent to our inboxes from all our favorites.

They are both wrong. They are both right. Neither of them fully encompassing the complexity of our condition. Hustle if you can. Rest if you can. But grow you must. Learn you must. Try to remember to be kind to yourself, sure, but apply pressure. A light choke. Let’s get out of this in one piece.

Marie Kondo that Vision Board!

You’re likely stuck in the house. Time is melting away, and you’re clinging like hell to the remnants of your sanity. Order has gone, and the police are trapped in the sewers. A charismatic villain is occupying your living room.

Nope, that’s Batman!

If you’re not in a Christian Bale film, you’re likely social distancing, and spending way more time at home. This means you have the opportunity to update (or create ) your very own vision board.

Whether you’re using this time to learn a second language, start a new business, or just rest and connect with yourself , you can do with a bit of DIY, mindfulness, and spring cleaning!

Goals change. They should. They will. Your vision board(s) should change along with them. My old vision board was littered with lists and quotes that no longer applied. Offer letters for positions I left, and remnants of opportunities I once wanted. I even left space for new goals and unexplored terrain. Roze: The Final Frontier!

I was younger then. I’m wiser now. Now I’m looking down a path toward professional academia, my goals are changing, and the map will need match my destination. I’m currently “funemployed” (a term I made up to reclaim my time and denounce my ties to capitalism-driven productivity and burnout) and working to one day be FUNemployed!

In other words I’ve been social distancing since January; less by choice, than force. More safety and frugality for me, yay!

So, while our nation seems to be on the edge of a real-life purge, careening dangerously towards the themes of the 2006 comedic sci-fi film Idiocracy, we can still work to refine our goals, and update your vision board. What goals have you achieved? Revamped? Reassessed? Have our priorities changed? How has the Corona Virus made you rethink your future!? a vision board is an opportunity to Get creative and post your plan where you can see it. Probably on your fridge!

We can get through this together, and come out better.

4 Lessons Adulting Has Taught Me!

Adulting. Adulteration. Grownup-ism. Maturiosity.

On this quest to adequately love myself, I have realized quite a few truths. Peculiar truths regarding the accouterments of adulthood.

  1. Sometimes, adulthood is just making bad decisions (or ones that just feel bad) and sticking with them. Whether it’s seeing out a terrible job, paying all your bills early and leaving yourself nothing to live on, or eating lackluster Pinterest salads for the rest of the week. Sometimes you just have to suck it up to achieve your goal: making money, becoming debt-free, or leading a healthier lifestyle.
  2. Traffic is the manifestation of Satan. It may be difficult to see examples of God in our lives, but we can all agree that traffic, particularly the traffic on the way to work, is the hand of Lucifer in action.f7e128c37eb39f7e6bd918c2fa16eebf
  3. College throws you together with like-minded and like-scheduled youngsters. It also tears those bonds asunder when cap and gown are in hand. Now, out here in the “real world”, it requires effort [gags]. In light of this I have gone places, talked to strangers, and been added to TWO never-not-notifying group chats full of lively young persons. It is… fun?
  4. You will never just be “good”. You can never coast. You’re never comfortable. I will always want more or be just a little dissatisfied. There’s always more schooling to be had, and someone younger or seemingly more qualified. But you will always have the upper hand, so long as you are you. Free yourself of the need to keep up with the imaginary Jones’ {plot twist: they’re having an affair} or sustain appearances, just work hard and do your best. (Like Grandma taught me)

And finally…

Peep the link to my Pinterest board about Adulting,  hope you find it helpful! Also, this Buzzfeed post is my life!

Roze Goes

Happy Lociversary! 💇🏾‍♀️🔒🎂

You were born on August 7th, 2017!You’re two years old, Ru. Happy Birthday!🎂🎁🎉🎈 🍾 🥂

{whispers} Ru, short for Unruly, is the name of the mane formerly known as Afrobella.

From Bella To Ru. 🗣 to @trini4true on IG!

How does it feel?! Stretching long and strong from crown to soul. From polished and impermanent, to rough and ready. Still a few lumps and bumps, but better for the wear(er). A masterpiece mastering peace.

Day 1! The journey begins!

It would be easy to say the my loc journey has been a mission of internal growth made manifest externally. It would be. It isn’t.

I have dermatitis… so there’s that. 🙄😒🤦🏾‍♀️

It would be easy to say that through the baby wick, swelling, and generally FUGLY stages it was easy to envision them; fully realized and long AF. It would be. It isn’t.

On one hand, curls last forever! … 🤷🏾‍♀️🙄 I have to wash them out!

It would be easy to say that I feel more beautiful now than ever before, and my overall self esteem has been greatly enhanced. It would be. It isn’t. It hasn’t been easy. To navigate this shape-shifting adult body, redevelop my reemerging sense of style, and address a perceived increased in pressure to assume the accoutrements of coveted ✌🏾professionalism✌🏾

Sometimes I protest retwists✊🏾

Before

After

Today

In a little more than two years I’ve grown an appreciation for the quirky, inside-out sort of beauty that I am. I spend less time getting ready… on my hair.

I feel a sort of badass empowerment knowing that bigotry, so mobilized by tax payer dollars, and cushioned comfortably in the bosom of bureaucracy, has seen fit to force itself into our salons and places of business. That my hair, our hair, has once again come under laser-focused scrutiny in the form of a Supreme Court ruling. 👻🚨🗂🏦🗳📰

I’m a cocktail of a sort.

🍸A generous helping of pride and natural beauty

🍸A spritz of oils and aloe gel

🍸 A heavy-handed pour internalized white supremacy

🍸 A sprig of IDGAF for garnish

You’re two years wiser, thicker, longer, and stronger. Here’s to you! 🥂🍾

I’m thinking about turning this into a series. What would you like to see first?

💁🏾‍♀️Locs vs Dreds

💁🏾‍♀️Living with Locs & Dermatitis

💁🏾‍♀️How I Manage My Locs Solo

💁🏾‍♀️Freeforn vs “Fashion Dreds”

Reply in the comments.

Love you, Ru!

2019: Year of Compatibility

Today marks two weeks of travel into the new year. Exactly fourteen days of reflection, goal-setting, and a lot of backsliding. I’m digging in: committing to making my one and only life work. In the last few weeks I kept hearing a word come up in conversations, in books, on screens. My new theme.

Last year…

2018, for me, was defined by a particular word. A running theme that spanned 365 days of challenging, irritating, and patience-building circumstances.

That word was resilience.

From relationship woes to impending unemployment. From seeking to securing to adjusting to a new and more exciting job.

From stress-induced fender-bender to a car accident that totaled my baby Harriet (Tubman because she freed me). Crying for months on the phone with – and in the offices of – unaccommodating car catastrophe-related personnel.

I had to tough it out. Find stores of resilience in myself because no matter how inconvenient and painful, ultimately not one in that series of unfortunate events, would kill me.

There’s something both empowering and disheartening in knowing that you can survive more. In knowing that you can -and one day will have to- be even stronger still. To my genuine dismay I’d have to make it, and keep making it until I encounter something that actually could… kill me.

2018 brought me my first major loan/credit debt-builder while simultaneously rewarding me for my fastidious and measured money management. That gave me the chance to buy a new newish new-to-me car without a co-sign.

2018 brought me a new apartment and a supportive and enjoyable new roomate. Desperation forced our hands, and leases loomed, but a great new friendship formed with each passing month.

Finally, 2018 brought me a new job and plenty of opportunities to learn more about coworker relationships, leadership, and the bureaucratic entities that govern worky-desky-sitty jobs. I’m learning to detect and define my red flags: in romance, in myself, and in my past.

This Year…

In all that I experienced last year, the greatest lesson, and this year’s word, is compatibility. Too many times I’ve forced interactions, and ignored red flags. I’ve wanted things and people more than I’ve wanted peace and flow. I’ve sacrificed compatibility thinking it would yield results in the long run while suffering daily. Living in-authentically. Incompatibly.

I’m committing myself to effortlessness. No matter how contradictory that sounds. 🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️ I’m working everyday to create a free-flowing life. Disciplining my time and my life to allow in the types of opportunities that I want to experience and take advantage of. If I can nail down my habits, I will have the discernment necessary to adjudicate over delicious new experiences with the time and preparation to appreciate them. What I’ll need is discipline.

Plot twist: Discipline is this cool new form of self-care where you follow a schedule, prompt yourself, and do things that benefit your life. Get this, if you push through your reluctance, and fatigue and keep to your word, you actually see your life improve! Crazy, right!?

My new Mantra. It gets me out of bed. Out of the car for work. Into the gym despite this unusual cold snap. I mumble it to myself in traffic, and as I set my alarms. “Discipline is love. Discipline is love. Discipline is love.” In the shower when my mental to-do list at work gets disparagingly long, “Discipline is love.”

Discipline is the new hygge. Discipline is the new pilates, hot yoga, and cycling combined. For the last two weeks I have set a schedule for myself and begun sleeping at a certain time, setting particular days to work out or study for class. I’ve taken specific steps to make myself ready and remove excuses.


Shoutout to @Amaa_Official on Twitter for Inception inseminating my mind!

Ways that I’ve been utilizing discipline to increase compatibility in 2019:

  • I speak immediately on the things causing me anxiety and don’t murder myself by over thinking the outcomes and avoiding difficult conversations
  • I put my clothes out the night before AND check the weather
  • I schedule my workouts and don’t stress if I miss one. I just resume immediately at the next scheduled opportunity
  • I meal prep to save money, keep on diet, and feel like a grown up
  • I try to do things at the same times each day to create routine and run on muscle memory
  • I can spend time with friends and family more often if I make them shorter outings. (for instance, I can say yes to a party without anxiety because I know be there for no more than 120 minutes)
  • I let my phone die on Saturday mornings, and don’t power up again until the evening. A whole day off the grid to work on my blog, homework, connect to loved ones, work out, get domestic, or just relax
  • I refuse to be inhabited by guilt so I leave work at a reasonable time and wake up early to recap before I sit at my desk. No more unfocused late nights churning out half-assed results from a foggy anxious brain drain

I want to be calling things, relationships, experiences, and opportunities toward me. I want to create a space where growth, love, and contentment are welcomed. I want to have room for change, and be the person with the mindset to make use of that change. Discipline is love. Love for me, for my friends and family, love for my readers, and the individuals I serve. I want to love my life more, so I need to discipline it.

Discipline is love.

#Throwback Thursday Deliberate Action

I’m learning bit by bit to be more aggressive in the pursuit of my wants. They are important. To communicate quickly in self-advocacy. My adversities are valid. To be wholly present in the moments that I dedicate to myself. My me-time is crucial.

Most of all, I’m realizing that my advice is for me too. It’s actually mostly for me. I need it.

lftu

Life is a generous teacher; giving you multiple opportunities to to learn lessons and retake tests.

Read more at the link above!

Continue reading “#Throwback Thursday Deliberate Action”

#TBT Happy Half-Birthday, 2019*!

… well, belated, at least.

Allow me to read you this poem I wrote!        {stands Wonder Woman-ly in bathroom mirror, sort of shouting }

More than half way there, and your feet are so tired, but trust me, you’ll know when you know. Half of 2017 gone, oh the places you can still go! With more than 180 days left, there’s pounds to shed and seeds to sow. You can get a summer body DURING the summer, to the gym you must go! With the finish line ever closer, now the staples in your calendar show, you can reassess your goals, perhaps a-traveling you’ll go! You’ve been dissatisfied all around, and your zeal is running so low, maybe you’ll quit your job to seek entrepreneurship. To the unemployment line you’ll go! Maybe you’ve had a bug in your ear, and you want your thinker to grow. Maybe you’ll just work up the nerve and saddle that debt, maybe back to school you’ll go! More than half way there, and your feet are so tired, but trust me, you’ll know when you know. Half of 2017 gone, oh the places you can still go!




HAPPY HALF BIRTHDAY, 2017 2020!! Everything is possible!




Find YOUR Half-Birthday!

Mine is May 1st. I will be celebrating it from now on. Also, it carries all the weight of a full birthday! I expect gifts 🎁!

Roze Goes,

{says to self and readers} I love you. There’s still plenty time left. Don’t go rounding up!

Thanos Is Bae! *Spoilers 🚨

There. I said, and I stand by by it. Who gon’ whoop me?

I’m HERE for his big sensitive lavender utilitarian conservationist ass! 💜😈😚

Thanos has been lurking in the shadows for more than a decade quietly orchestrating our obliteration. He is the villain we truly deserved and finally made his big debut (how very M’baku!) in Infinity War. Calculated, patient, and not given to long speeches where he gives away the entire plan. He is the perfect comic book villain!

He’s a formidable foe, and at times is even surprised by how resilient his opponents can be. Not an inconvenient speed bump, but a clear and present threat! [side eyes you Erik Killmmonger supporters 😒 IDC IDC! Fight me! He was just fine and quotable!]

BUT, clearly he had some redeeming qualities.

1. Fighting intergalactic hunger, pollution, and quelling our environmental impact are his passion projects. He’s basically big purple PETA!

2. Seemed a pretty ok Dad, for two beautiful and fierce daughters. Parenting is work!

3. A great planner. Super committed. Really focused.

4. Amazing body. 🤤💪🏾🏋🏾‍♂️🍆 (maybe)

5. Compassionate and FULL of feels!

6. Wonderful smile 😀

And that’s what I like in a man: forethought. A plan, not just potential. Proper pre-planning prevents piss poor performance, and let me tell you, my baby showed out!

I was slain too, but I’m ok with it. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Without giving away too much, I can say that he took your faves and left some too. We don’t know what’s about to happen. Well… there are theories. Mine, at least.

Conspiracy theories include:

1. They aren’t dead.

2. He said half of all life in THIS universe, so they’ve been transported to another universe.

3. In said universe, the not-dead heroes will devise a plan to return. 🧟‍♀️👩🏾‍🎤👨🏾‍🎤🧟‍♂️

4. There they’ll meet up with other heroes in the Marvel sphere. Maybe even their other iterations!

5. Somehow they’ll get the gauntlet and reverse what Thanos did, and unkill everyone!

6. Finally, perhaps this is the one workable outcome that Dr. Strange saw! Maybe it’s a sat up for an awesome comeback!

Questions:

1. Why exactly did Heimdallr have to die!? My love, Idris Elba, was in the movie for less time that Chris Brown’s character in “Stomp the Yard!” Pitiful. But, he got a check nonetheless – bonus!

2. Why was young Spiderman the only one to disintegrate as slowly as he did? Was it the suit? He had enough time to make everyone cry!

3. Who’s gonna lead Wakanda? OMG 😮 is it M’baku!? 🙉🦍

4. How do we know Captain Marvel wasn’t purged?

5. Where the heck was Nick Fury’s eye-patch havin’ ass the whole time?

It’s a difficult relationship, but I’m loyal, and we’ll see it through until the reveal next year.

Love you bae!

Roze Goes

AFTER CREDIT BONUS:

What are YOUR theories about how this next mega Marvel instillation will unfold? Who do YOU wanna see make a cameo? Also, do you think Stan Lee has pre-filmed all his appearances for when he dies?

Happy Valentimes Day!

Let me first start off by stating that I absolutely HATE when people pronounce it “Valentimes Day”. When is Valentime? Point to it on a clock! When in the calendar year is it Valentime!? If you pronounce it this way, you don’t deserve any chalky heart-shaped antacid candies.  deserve to eat ONLY chalky heart-shaped antacid candies! FOREVER!!!

Moving on…

Pal-entine’s Day, Gal-entine’s Day, Single’s Awareness Day… For semi-Bitter Bettys and Barrys such as myself, this past February 14th took on a slightly different tone than the mainstream. For many of us it was a silent massacre. Millions of eligible bachelor’s and bachelorette’s unwanted bodies strewn about highways and workplaces; their faces twisted in agony with cold eyes glossed over. Tortured mercilessly, some for days, with your stories of how “Bae surprised me. He/She/It/They are sooo thoughtful!” We lept like lemmings to our deaths.

1328485800301_8043646
As if you didn’t know you were single on the 13th !

For me, it consisted of staring at my phone, rolling/thrashing on the couch, and sort of mumble-sobbing. Mind you, I’m usually that emotional on every other day, it just FELT more poignant on that day… you know, on account of the nationwide peer pressure. (Note to whomever: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT get onto any social media on any holiday ever! Just don’t. Even Leif Ericsson Day.)

Moving on…

I’m gonna talk with (not TO, because I’m not your mom) you about what I, and perhaps you, SHOULD have done if you were V and/or D-less on Alentine’s Ay.

What you should have done was look yourself in the eye (with the aid of a mirror, I guess) and realized where love in your life MUST originate. It has to start with you. And its going to take work.

59055680
This is what I want you to say in the mirror!

“The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from the work of loving yourself.”  – Sahaj Kohli 

I know how it sounds, but without self love you will search for someone to love you, and you WILL be disappointed. In truth, you’re looking for someone to give you everything you need, and that person already exists. [clears throat and prepares for how lame this will sound:] YOU ARE YOUR SOUL MATE!  [rolls eyes aggressively] Other people can only compliment you, they will not be a balm for every wound, address every fear or concern, and they will not/ cannot be your source of happiness. That well must spring from within. Otherwise, when theirs dries up you will be back at square one again, and the hunt for wholeness will continue. If/when they leave, you will be the worst kind of alone.

Moving on…

What does loving yourself look like? To know that, you’ll have to dig deep. Really examine many of your current and past relationships. Relationships of all kinds: friends, lovers, co-workers, and even enemies. They’re all vital in the shaping of your self-love. If you think about the way they made you feel, and the actions that yielded  those feelings, you’ll put together a sort of make-shift recipe for self love. How can you replicate that satisfaction for and in yourself? This same process of personal-inventory will reveal to you what you can do in relationships with others to yield more satisfaction.

My Self Love Recipe

3 tbs. of regular physical activity               1/2 tsp. reaffirming motivation

1 cup of positive self-talk                             1 lb. of workplace fulfillment

1 tbs. hanging out with friends                  1/2 cup music and dancing

1/2 cup working on a passion/hobby         1/2 cup alone time (not TOO much)

1/2 tsp. getting cute and going out              1 cap-full of Moscato

1 pinch of new experiences

*1 handful of sexy chocolate man (can substitute caramel or macadamia)

* for experienced bakers ready to involve a partner

77300-treat-yo-self-meme-bc7hMoving on…

Finally, for my Bitter Bettys and Barrys, my sisters and brothers, don’t forget that Valentine’s Day is just a capitalistic ploy by  THE MAN to shift from what’s really going on… BLACK HISTORY MONTH!!! [raises fist emphatically]

In parting I leave you with this,

Love your self. Black, white, alone, in a relationship, sorta short, freckly or what have you.

Remember to follow and join the mailing list. Love you! Kiss your mom for me!

Roze Goes

I’m Addicted to Instagram!

*City Girls voice:* “Period!”

[In walks Rod Serling]

If you’re up at 3am wandering down the rabbit hole into the weird part of YouTube, you may find yourself watching a “documentary”. This documentary will at some point, if conspiratorial enough, suggest that the world you know is a simulation or otherwise unreal. It’ll point to some dystopian future where every corner is lit up with Times Square-esque billboards and advertisements are beamed directly onto your retina. 🛸 👽

Well, we’re not so far off. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Times Square is in our phones. Always beeping, always on, always accessible. I know, Despite how I sound, I own zero cats. 🐈 🐱

My Matrix is Instagram. It has me firmly by the spinal cord pumping #FOMO and #fitspo directly into my brain. It simultaneously connects and isolates me. It binds us with tangible proof of our shared experiences while celebrating our differences in culture and cause; all the while making us clones. 📠

I know these things. Deep in my big thinky brain I know this, and I still let it get me. 📱👉🏾🧠 I’m worse off than my preteen sister! I grew up with a landline and PBS. Bob Ross was my therapy! How did this happen to me!?

How I know I’m an addict…

1. I’m willfully on the app all the time. I use it to fill my downtime.

2. My thumb can find and open the app subconsciously. Sometimes first thing in the morning; unfortunately setting the tone for a frazzled and preoccupied day.

⏰ 📱🏃🏾‍♀️💨 instead of 🧘🏾‍♀️🙏🏾📿 ✌🏾

3. The number of accounts I follow is disproportionate to the number that follow me. Not that I track it for influence or money, but it shows me that I primarily consume media despite my talent and desire to create it.

4. I label everything #goals. What then must I think of my life if I aspire so hard to take pages from other people’s books? Instagram is a perpetual motion machine cranking out envy and comparison.

5. I am noticeably preoccupied. You know you have a problem when you are constantly stashing your phone. I’m afraid it’s affecting my productivity and ability to have quiet moments with others. Simple intimacy. 🙅🏾‍♀️

They say acceptance and admission come first.

In the spirit of coming clean, I’ll make a few more admissions. I’m also addicted to sugar, I binge watch, and I’m terminally tardy. Please send help. 🚨🚑

What I’m doing to get clean…

1. 9-5 fast. During the working day I delete Instagram. The temptation gets real around lunch time, but it feels good to be productive. I’ve also been purging. I unfollow the accounts I can’t see benefiting me. Ones that me feel like I’m not enough.

2. Screen Time Limit. This new iPhone function tells you exactly how much time you spend BS-ing, and you can set a limit for app accessibility.

⚠️ Warning! ⚠️ It will cut you off mid-post, mid-comment, mid-like. It’s abrupt and effective, but not without temptation. You can delay and essentially press snooze on the limit for an additional 15 minutes, or for the rest of the day. AVOID SNOOZE!

3. “Productivity Blocks”. Set periods of time devoted to getting 🤬 done! At the end I can reward myself with a teeny bump of that good sweet social media. *snorts*

I’m slowly working on it. Choosing to redirect my energies. Sometimes I need reminding. Sometimes I slip. But more than anything I want to be creating moments worth documenting. But I won’t let chasing the perfect lighting take priority. I’ll actually reach out to people. I’ll work at my goals.

However, I will never stop taking pictures of delicious food. Never.

But y’all accept me.

Free yourselves. Find your hang ups, name them, and stare them down.

Update 11/8/18

Here’s an additional resource in the form of a podcast “Therapy for Black Girls” … or any colored persons…

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/therapy-for-black-girls/id1223803641?mt=2&i=1000417841627

Until later,

Update: 1/3/19

I’ve kept up with the 9-5 fast, but unfortunately that now includes Twitter; my paltry drug of second-choice. Thankfully, Snapchat is so unappealing that it has not yet hooked my attention.

I’ve also added an off-the-grid day. Usually a Saturday, most of which I spend with a dead phone. Guiltlessly binge watching on some other device, while washing/folding laundry or cleaning my bathroom.

Plot twist: you can both be a recluse, and a productive young person. Who’d have thunk!?

The holidays were rough. Tucked in at home desperatelyburying yo avoid the “What would you be doing if you were in Miami?” conversations. I spent so much time glued to my screen that I had to take whole naps to rest my eyes. Entire siestas to counteract the phone fiestas! I’m am torn between hiding away from, and actively participating in, my own life. A conundrum.

Caught up in the year-end twilight zone of reflection, aspiration, and regret, I spent what felt like eons looking over my accounts.

Why didn’t I post more? Why don’t I post more? Write more? Travel more? Why isn’t my Instagram more cohesively branded? My messaging more consistent? Why hasn’t my blog taken off? What aren’t I so flawlessly fleek celebrating the New Year in a distant locale?

The comparison monster stuffed my stocking with envy.

On an on. Please help! It’s an ongoing battle: getting clean.

Old Year’s Resolutions 🥂🎆

I’m sure we’re all looking forward to another journey around the sun; visualizing our new bodies 🏋🏾‍♀️, soon-to-be bank accounts 💵, and super fulfilling love lives 👩🏾🧔🏾.

In anticipation for the new year, it would seem that we are trained to accentuate the positives. We want to frame our experiences and shape our personal narratives positively in the hopes of making them so.

In this world somethings must die in order to give rise to what must follow. So that others might live, and take their rightful place and priority in your life.

tenor

Some habits, trips, and relationships can’t be manifested until their predecessors are trampled by a herd of wildebeest. (It was 1994, and it’s still too soon 😔🤭)

You can’t ghost 👻 your real-life problems in favor of an idealized life that resets on January 1st. You can’t leave your lingering family/relationship issues on read or deactivate your adulthood account. That’s unfortunately not how this works. I tried.

Didn’t work. Before you initiate the sweeping changes you have planned for 2018 2019, what are some small changes you can make today? This year?

A lil’ motivation to complete your Old Year’s Resolutions, and step bravely into the unknown.

And finally, I wanna ask you all a question. Inspired by the folks at Shine. “A Daily text to help you thrive.”

Take this poll!

Roze Goes … luv ya!

Roze Goes Footer

TIRED of Being Broke: No Money, Mo Problems!

Image courtesy of skiptothis.com

[sings Al Green-ly at top of lungs]

“I’m so tired of being broke,

I can’t pay this on my own,

Won’t you help me Mom,

Just as soon as you can!?”

I’m sitting on another curb tearfully waiting for a tow truck; the second one this week.

Lyfting across Miami costs me about a month’s worth of gas, and my lil red hooptie Harriet is no closer to being fixed.

I try to hide my face from the residents of the overpass under which I overheated. We are now essentially in the same water-free boat.

Update: Bought a new car in August. Still broke though 🤦🏾‍♀️ Car buying is an emotional 🎢

I get it. I’m a quasi-recent grad. I’m young. I “should” be broke. It’s expected. I devoted my first few years after graduation to service, and the non profit sector is so named for a reason. Got it.

Big booty BUT though … now I’m settled in another full time, fully benefited, office based, salaried job with all the assurances and insurances that I previously coveted, and I’m still broke. Still proportionately the same amount of broke.

Brick. Brack. Broke. 💆🏾‍♀️😒🙃

I don’t have to bread you in the many work, income, and finance woes that face the average millennial. You know then well.

1. We’re living at home longer which means we buy homes later.

2. We are SADDLED with unprecedented educational debt.

3. We inherited an awesome economy.

4. Will invariably end up working deep into our golden years.

Ultimately it all just feels like…

A memoir.

Chapter 1.

Where’s my mom now with her threats to take me out of this world she so lustfully brought me into!?

I’m tired, boss.

Plus insurance still costs you money and I don’t understand why I’m paying twice to not be sick!

Every-flipping-thing! Bills, insurance, loans, water, the waves that travel through Al Gore’s Internet, breathing, eating animals, not eating animals, education, avocados, air, everything.

Do these headliner tidbits sound familiar?

1. “You should have three months of bills (not just rent) saved up!”

3. How many emergencies can you fund?

Cake cannot be both eaten and possessed simultaneously. The same quantity of money cannot be both saved and spent. It’s not a question of how much I spend, or how aggressively I budget.

I don’t make enough. Thats it.

The rent at my new apartment is $75 less expensive. Our utilities are lower. I eat out less often than ever. And just as I might see addendums to my pockets, I have had 3 emergencies since August. There goes my profit margin.

Credit card balance hovers like a David Blane stunt: inscrutable and racially ambiguous.

{enters stage left} … the side hustle. Which thus far feels more like an internship.

But…

How are y’all escaping the clutches of poverty? Glucose guardians?

Email me!