Do’s and Don’ts

Well mostly don’ts…

“Society” (the nebulous, all-encompassing, omnipresent and potent pit into which we throw all our taboos and constructs, no-nos and blame-shaming) is full of edicts for how women should think and behave. In fact, there’s one right there! Society tells us that society tell us things ::makes Cornell West hand gestures::. Throughout my life I’ve stumbled upon a few truths on the path to unlearning some of the things “Society” has taught me. I’ve put together a list (you know how I feel about lists). Here are a few things I think like-minded young ladies should do don’t; a to-don’t list:

  1. Don’t keep apologizing. If you’re not a compulsive liar, or just intent on hurting someone’s feelings, you probably said it because you meant it. Why are you sorry? For taking up space? For not giving in to someone else? For having a different opinion or perspective? For standing up for yourself? Taking care of yourself first? There’s a difference between being polite and being a doormat, honesty and rudeness. Be who you are, say what you mean, and be unapologetic. (but don’t wield your truths all up in nobody face, juh chill)
  2. Don’t be so afraid of wasted time. I know. Whether it’s on a wasted endeavor, or a failed relationship time is the commodity of which we have the least. Every second you’re alive your cell-turnover rate slows and you creep closer to death. I understand. But you can’t let that stop you from filling as many seconds as possible with meaning. So savor your breakups, learn from your mistakes and build on the time you have left. Regret is NOT a time machine!
  3. Don’t be so nice. Stop the sweet-like-honey act, you just end up catching flies. Who wants flies!? Catch butterflies! catch dragonflies! catch DRAGONS!! Especially when it comes to guys. The world is not some male-driven customer service experience. You are not ice cream. “Nice” is not a flavor you have to offer yourself in. Stop busying yourself with small-talk, remembering co-worker’s birthdays, and making sure you hand sanitizer for everyone if that’s not who you really are. You can be kind, forgiving, understanding, and genuine without being made-up “nice”. Lame.

Blah-zay, blah-zay squash. I think I’ll keep this up. My List of Don’ts. I’ll periodically update when the inspiration strikes.

In parting I leave you with this…

Roze Goes

Update: 10 Random Things

Hello you guise! Welcome to 2014! I know I’ve been gone and it has been a struggle-and-a-half just remembering my password, but I am back and already it feels natural. Like no time has passed; like it was just yesterday. I had so may things I wanted to discuss, to share. Last semester was a nightmarish blur and here I am, on the edge of the real word; staring down the barrel of my last semester ans an undergraduate student. Crap!

As much as I want to get mushy and wax poetic, I just haven’t the time. Here’s what’s been going on in a brief, but informative list.

1. Be true to yourself. Even if/when it hurts you. The truths you stifle and swallow now, will come back as burning bile.

2. I have hair. It’s not what the naturalist-as have it cracked up to be. I miss clippers.

3. Clean up your iTunes; if Fallout Boy doesn’t represent you anymore, it’s OK.

4. Stop saving those clothes for “the right occasion”, you may eventually get fat. Wear a ball gown on campus.

5. It’s HARD to live in two times at once: fulfilling your commitments in one chapter (college), while preparing for another (whatever’s after college, IDK Starbucks!?)

6. I have no idea how to file taxes, and at any rate I’m too poor to.

7. Do what fulfills your soul, what best befits your personal growth path.

8. Growing up sucks BOOTY CHEEKS!!! Big Ole Cherokee (yes, the adult film star, no this is not an invitation to ask me about my business) butt cheeks! … but I wouldn’t (not that I could!) have it any other way.

9. Depression is REAL! (yes, this includes black folks) … but so are all the reasons not to be. 🙂 You can’t do any of the things I mentioned if you can’t forgive yourself first.

10. Pick a role model; for deep reasons, for shallow reasons, for career advice, or how to learn the eyebrow-concealer trick! Have a few, have a bunch, but always be wanting MORE from yourself and life. Enlist the help of someone who can show you how! You are worth it!

I missed this space, this freedom. I will try not to leave you guise for so long. I was away, but I can bring you too!

Nancy Not-So Negative

P.S. LEAVE ME ALONE PHONE!! I’m threatening to move into a cave!

Freedom Fighter

Who will fight for me? With balled fists and hoarse throats? For my restless spirit, my tired smile. Who will wake every morning and tend to my bruised heart; whispering reassurances across its weakened valves, pushing blood to my cold fingers and toes. Who everyday remind me of what I deserve; spinning a fairy tale web of my prince over the horizon? Who will issue me my badges of honor for fighting valiantly through every heartbreak? Who will work tirelessly to put together my sharp jigsaw puzzle pieces with darting eyes and bloodied fingers? I will; quietly and reluctantly. Trying hard to forget that this isn’t the first time. I would rather leave them broken and irreparable. If stay brokenhearted there can be no heart to break. I paint the picket signs and hang the barbed wire you crawled through to get here. I refill the moat with unimaginable bloodthirsty beasts. An inevitable enterprise, an exercise in futility. I undo myself each night. Unlock the doors and crack the windows, let you in every time. Faceless invader with big hands and kind smile. Rob me. Take everything. My love is not for me. A renewable resource. My threshold so high that I sweeten my tears with coffee. I will fight, and I will lose. perforated armor and empty grenades. I will fight for me, and I will lose with all my heart.

I’m A Pretty, Pretty, Butterfly!

What’s up ladies and gentlefingers!
I’m back from my shame fueled guilt cocoon, Oh how I have missed thee! So much has happened in the last few weeks. The spring semester wrapped up, I’m now #teamiPhone, it’s summer time in my corner of the world and everyday is palm tree hell!!!!

Real quick question:
If the predicted temperature is 90 degrees, but the “real feel” is 94, then isn’t it 94 degrees!?!? I feel heat, I don’t imagine it!!! Curse you weather men! [angrily shakes fist]

I’m learning so much in such a brief period of time. The last few weeks have been filled with repercussions and rewarding lessons. Personal development can come from so many directions and in so many forms. Failure is an excellent teacher; however it depends on what you take from it. You can learn to exceed your own expectations, or drown in your misfortunes. Either decision is easy to make and equally life changing. Depression has taught me a lot as well. It reminds you of your shortcomings when the sky is most grey and your will fails you. It also shows you who cares for you, and speaks volumes about your inner strength when you climb triumphantly from the fathomless pit like Bruce Wayne and save your own Gotham city.

Finally, taking chances, doing something you’ve never done to get something you’ve never had, bolsters your heart in ways I could never describe. God, I hope these aren’t temporary gains! I want to stay this hopeful, this confident and this motivated! For the first time in a long time I am SUPER WINNING!!! [ SShhh!! Don’t say that too loud, the universe might hear!]

Ok, I’m done writing Hallmark cards. I had to spill for a second and tell you what I’ve been up to…

Here are a few less mushy lessons I’ve picked up:
1. Poofreading is a skillet.
2. Have an up-to-date copy of your résumé ready ALWAYS!
3. You gotta know your limits, ask for help when it gets too bad. (Your circumstances, your behavior, or your emotions.)
4. Every iPhone has a little of Steve Jobs’ DNA in them. That’s what gives em magic. (I named my baby Morris, cause he’s dark chocolate like Morris Chestnut)

Racist joke from my black friend:
“You should get the black iPhone, it runs faster!!!”

Someone I care about called and wished me a happy Mother’s Day. Like any non-pregnant woman of child-bearing age, I took offense! He sweetly turned it around and told me it’s because he knows I’ll be a great mother. {awwwww *dies of cuteness*}

I got the sexiest internship in all of life!!! I’ll probably speak about it in-depth in another post. Just know that the stars aligned to make all of my dreams come true on this one. I REFUSE to sabotage myself again and cukf this up!!

I’m like a Brown Bear/JD hybrid! That’s all the hint you’ll get!

Writing a curriculum vitae is REDONKULOUS!! (Basically a curriculum vitae, for those you who do not know, it is a super in-depth resume that caters specifically to the job you’re applying for. A CV is particularly necessary in fields associated with high-brow professionalism, such as higher education or medicine. Here’s a link that explains the difference between a run-of-the-mill resume and a CV ) Professionalism takes work! I’m picking up the subtleties as I go along.

Well Jews and Gentiles, I think there may be hope for me yet. I may not be a professional slacker after all. I don’t think the world is ready for a fully functional, successful, and positive Roze. I’m not sure that I am. Life is kinda thrusting me into things now with or without my consent, and I’m beginning to think that’s better. I won’t stand in my own way.

Look out world, I care again!

Internships and internal shit,

Nancy Negative

While You Were Out…

I’m like a baby. Well, more like a peek-a-boo enthusiast. Once I put my hands over my eyes, the universe implodes into an unfathomable white hole. At least that’s what I think happens when I neglect to post for a while. I’m sure that’s not the case at all. Your lives probably continue; reluctantly checking your emails, being scolded at Starbucks when you call a ‘tall’ a ‘small’, and washing the whites you’ve saved up for three months.  Rather than regaling you with the ins and outs of my obviously posh life fill of celebrity and adventure, I’ll do what I’m good at; making lists. My life for the last couple of months in pictures and videos.

1…. met Rosario Dawson. She’s pretty bad-ass!

2. Homecoming 2012. I’m the girl in the suit!

I’m like a 2012 Grace Jones!

3. I’m in love with this song and video! It’s like Tumblr had a baby with Rihanna and gave birth on VEVO!

4. I’m actually doing really well in school this semester and am  hoping to finish this semester off strong, although senioritis is a B!$H! On the upside, the semester’s coming swiftly to an end!

5. .. been playing a lot lately with bow ties and androgyny. The perks of being a baldie!

6. There was this guy, and he ran for President, but he didn’t quite win. This guy was his Public Relations Coordinator. Explains itself.

YAY!!! Romney – Ryan!!!

7. I’ve been getting better and waking up early to start productive and fulfilling days. They start off with yoga, meditation, and yogurt and end promptly with that. I dropped a post. Like to read it, here it goes!

… and then a little interpretive dance…

8. I have truly come into form. I’m a genuine Jamaican! [insert stereotype about multiple jobs here] Two jobs and I’m searching for a third. I have goals. Non-free goals. Those non-free goals require money, American money. BUT when I get off, it looks something like this…

Um… I can’t think of anything else right now. I’ve missed you terribly. How come you don’t call me anymore!?


Ambition – Wale ft. Rick Ross and Meek Mill

You ever wake up feeling like a drug dealer? No? OK  maybe that’s just me. My morning yoga and yogurt has me feeling thuggish AF for some reason. Early start to this day. Been turning over some things in my mind, determined to change. “Only hope I had was selling dope!” … They gon’ love me for my AMBITION!”

Welcome Back Kotter!

I’M BACK!!!!! So here’s a quick update…

1. I’ve missed you guise!! So busy with school which started a day late to “hurricane” Isaac. Down here we take hurricanes, and subsequently hurricane days, very seriously!

We missed a whole day of school and since then, the academic year is has been going by Usain Bolt fast! I’m taking more classes this semester than ever before in a last-ditch attempt to graduate on time. “On Time”being a terrible misrepresentation of my graduation date expectations. When people ask my expected graduation date, as they inevitably do, I tell them “It’s rude to ask a lady that sort of question!” and promptly storm off. [“I said Good Day, sir!”] The first week of classes is filled with welcome back activities and my least favorite – icebreakers. I DESPISE icebreakers, whether they be at work, school, or narcotic dependence groups. Nowhere else in life are you forced to stand before a crowd and proclaim useless facts about yourself in front of individuals actively searching for F%@&!s to give! [*checks pockets* Sorry]

What else… hmm…

I HATE hair! I know you’re probably thinking ‘I know, because you don’t have any’, and you’d be right! All of my roommates have long, flowing #*^&%@$! locks and I want  to shave em all in their sleep, every one of em! It gets everywhere. It impregnates the fabric of my realty; on the ground, in the shower, clinging to my socks! It weaves its way into the carpet and burrows into the thread of my clothing. There is nowhere I can go to escape!. It’s like hair is Agent Smith and he’s found his way into Zion [aw no more underground techno party]. I don’t know what to do, maybe I’ll sneak Nair into their shampoo bottles…

I’m coming to realize that twenty-four hours is all I’m getting per day, so I need to just attempt to do everything I can. No, I haven’t learned the evils if procrastination, I’m just going to go Ape-$#!T until I learn time-management skills. Oh, good news, the brokeness is over. I promise I’ll do better about posting.

In parting I leave you with this.

Back-to-school and depilatories,