Thanos Is Bae! *Spoilers 🚨

There. I said, and I stand by by it. Who gon’ whoop me?

I’m HERE for his big sensitive lavender utilitarian conservationist ass! 💜😈😚

Thanos has been lurking in the shadows for more than a decade quietly orchestrating our obliteration. He is the villain we truly deserved and finally made his big debut (how very M’baku!) in Infinity War. Calculated, patient, and not given to long speeches where he gives away the entire plan. He is the perfect comic book villain!

He’s a formidable foe, and at times is even surprised by how resilient his opponents can be. Not an inconvenient speed bump, but a clear and present threat! [side eyes you Erik Killmmonger supporters 😒 IDC IDC! Fight me! He was just fine and quotable!]

BUT, clearly he had some redeeming qualities.

1. Fighting intergalactic hunger, pollution, and quelling our environmental impact are his passion projects. He’s basically big purple PETA!

2. Seemed a pretty ok Dad, for two beautiful and fierce daughters. Parenting is work!

3. A great planner. Super committed. Really focused.

4. Amazing body. 🤤💪🏾🏋🏾‍♂️🍆 (maybe)

5. Compassionate and FULL of feels!

6. Wonderful smile 😀

And that’s what I like in a man: forethought. A plan, not just potential. Proper pre-planning prevents piss poor performance, and let me tell you, my baby showed out!

I was slain too, but I’m ok with it. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Without giving away too much, I can say that he took your faves and left some too. We don’t know what’s about to happen. Well… there are theories. Mine, at least.

Conspiracy theories include:

1. They aren’t dead.

2. He said half of all life in THIS universe, so they’ve been transported to another universe.

3. In said universe, the not-dead heroes will devise a plan to return. 🧟‍♀️👩🏾‍🎤👨🏾‍🎤🧟‍♂️

4. There they’ll meet up with other heroes in the Marvel sphere. Maybe even their other iterations!

5. Somehow they’ll get the gauntlet and reverse what Thanos did, and unkill everyone!

6. Finally, perhaps this is the one workable outcome that Dr. Strange saw! Maybe it’s a sat up for an awesome comeback!

Questions:

1. Why exactly did Heimdallr have to die!? My love, Idris Elba, was in the movie for less time that Chris Brown’s character in “Stomp the Yard!” Pitiful. But, he got a check nonetheless – bonus!

2. Why was young Spiderman the only one to disintegrate as slowly as he did? Was it the suit? He had enough time to make everyone cry!

3. Who’s gonna lead Wakanda? OMG 😮 is it M’baku!? 🙉🦍

4. How do we know Captain Marvel wasn’t purged?

5. Where the heck was Nick Fury’s eye-patch havin’ ass the whole time?

It’s a difficult relationship, but I’m loyal, and we’ll see it through until the reveal next year.

Love you bae!

Roze Goes

AFTER CREDIT BONUS:

What are YOUR theories about how this next mega Marvel instillation will unfold? Who do YOU wanna see make a cameo? Also, do you think Stan Lee has pre-filmed all his appearances for when he dies?

All the Single (White) Ladies! 💁🏼‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️💁‍♀️

I’m not easily persuaded. My fingers are almost completely OFF the pulse of the zeitgeist. I have little-to-no idea what the young people like, or “what’s hot in these streets”. Thusly, I don’t often buy into hype. I just finished watching Season 2, Ep. 3 of Game of Thrones!

How to Be Single

The trailer didn’t sell me initially. The same ole trope: a young white woman longing to find herself embarks on an “I don’t need a man” journey of self-discovery in the big city.   What I expected was a New Girl/Sex In the City mash-up. I was pleasantly disappointed. Although virtually devoid of POC (except where they were offered up like optional side sauces in miniature tasting bowls; separate, other, and in quantities too little to appreciate), this white-chick flick hit pretty close to home.

A young woman, comfortable yet discontent in a relationship sets out to find out who she is. I am everyday working on the same. Some of the truths she stumbles up on are actually applicable.

  1. You only get a few moments of real self-knowledge when you’re not tied up in the accouterments of relationships.
  2. Young women, under the immense pressure and seemingly ultimate goal of relationship bliss and marriage, fall easily, and almost imperceptibly, into men’s “d!&k sand”; losing ourselves in the process.
  3. Openness and ownership of your body and the decisions you choose to make with it. Everything you do, makes you everything you are, and shame/guilt are nothing you should ever be or consider yourself.
  4. Finally, I UGLY LAUGHED all throughout this movie. I felt it deep in me. The little moments of insecurity that sometimes remind you of how hard you work not to feel empty. The value of friends. I was reminded of just how much self-acceptance is a  rocky, rewarding, and never-ending journey. Gotta work at being the you you want!

Lady Dynamite

I love alternative humor and lately the universe has been sending a bunch of really powerful non-traditional roles played by actresses that’s aren’t quite so mainstream. They’re older, and not what others may consider classically beautiful. More importantly, they play characters that push social commentary, have internal struggles, and are genuinely working to be better people. They have more than just man troubles, and aren’t encumbered with need to be bashful, comedically awkward, or cutely quirky. (I’m talking about you Zoe Deschanel!)

Spy


Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt 


Here’s what bums me out. That they’re aren’t more women of color in roles like this. Perhaps we’re too busy unpacking colonialism, defending the idea that Black Lives do in fact Matter, or bathing our children with bottled water. Maybe we’re not journeying to discover ourselves because our roles were written for us hundreds of years before were were born. Maybe they’re waiting for me to write their voices.

Roze Goes
… To a dark (skinned) place

Living to Death!

I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m not supposed to be here. That I’m being Inception-ed.

For as long as I can remember, I have felt out of place. Not weird. Well, not just weird. Other. Like I don’t believe I’m from this world. Or this time in this world. What’s the opposite of an old soul?

No skipping and definitely no backsies.

Till then I’m the slowest time traveler to ever do it. Traveling at the speed of a life. At the speed of death. An average of 78 years with modern medicines and moderate diet and exercise. Coordinates: unknown. Arrival time: death. The most futuristic I will ever be.

Every moment simultaneously the youngest I will ever be, and the oldest I’ve ever been. Feeling more, doing more, influencing more, to impact the future I was sent from. What’s the opposite of Terminator? Mission: live to death.

Clearly I’ve watched a lot of movies.

Roze Goes… TO THE FUTURE!!!

Gainfully Un-employed!

I probably shouldn’t sound so cheerful. [Adjusts tone] “Woe is me, I have no place (of employment) to call my own!” No one leaves brimming with joyousness from their last day of work or, or punching the clock that final time … unless they win the lottery. I walked in like a BOSS [pun intended], kicked over a display, slapped some merchandise out of a customer’s hand, and gave the people’s elbow to a toddler. It kind of looked like this:

That is most certainly NOT what I did. Today I quit my job; quietly and with as much grace as I could muster. After I handed my manager my carefully written letter of resignation, I cried a silent thug tear (a single hot tear that streams down your cheek), smiled, and got a Deluxe Chic-fil-a sandwich.  I know how crazy it sounds: quitting your job without a plan B, especially in this economy, but I HAD to. If you knew how much heartbreak it caused me, you might be more inclined to agree.  So in spite of my fear, got my baby eagle on, and flapped my wings with no branch in sight. Now I stand on my proverbial mountain-top and scream my allegiance. I am #TeamJoblessBetches!! Shoutout to the Jobless Betches over at joblessBetches.tumblr.com, two unemployed fashionistas after my own heart!

In other news, a few more writing opportunities have presented themselves and I’ll let you know how those turn out in time. I’ve been super thrifting lately and getting crazy crafty!! Like white-haired, Back To the Future, Doc Brown crazy!! I’m currently working on two jackets and getting together with my stylist-in-the-making friend Crystal. (You can check her out at @WiseKouture) I’ll give you a hint …acid wash. Also, I’ve been having a hard time getting up in the mornings. Not like osteoarthritis hard time, more like “depression hurts” hard time.

It takes me around four full hours to get out of bed. I remember being so full of hope when this summer started. I made of list of worlds to conquer and experiences to savor. I am HARDCORE losing! All  I’ve learned is that I eat a crapload of yogurt. I learned I eat when I’m bored. I learned that I can sleep longer than the average tree sloth. I learned that no amount of gym time is sufficient to remove a F.U.P.A. (don’t worry, it’s a little one) I’m trying to land another gig and relish what’s left of my break. School is right around the corner and I feel SUPER unaccomplished. … [quiet childlike tone] I have grown though. I’ve learned  so much about myself this summer; solitude will do that to you.

I’m glad I have y’all for my adventures and misadventures.

Yogurt, Wrestling, and Unemployment Checks

Roze

… BTW listen to these songs… they’ve been all on my brain like wrinkles.

15 Random Things About ME!

1. I’ve been obsessed with blazers since High School. Whenever my collection grows I feel like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

2. I adopted this new baby earlier this week. Welcome to the family boo!

my newest addition…

3. My nose is almost ALWAYS stuffy! (I’m usually running’ on one nostril)

4. I hate when people smooth their eyebrows with their own spit. (Not that they would use anyone else’s, but it makes your brows smell… ew)

5. I’m on a constant quest for $5 movies at Wal-mart and Target. SERIOUSLY!

6. I pick my nose. JUDGE ME NOT!!!

7. Every time I feel the least bit sick I Google and Web-MD my symptoms! They always turn up the same three results:      Lyme Disease, cancer (of some sort), or pregnancy…

8. I have PRETTY BIG lady feet! (I WILL NOT disclose the size)

9. I just bought THESE!!! I’ve been promising to work out more, specifically running, and I needed the right tools!

10. One of my goals is to own a greater variety of shoes. (ranging in formality, color, texture, and material; most of mine are just black :/ )

11.  Sometimes my inner dialogue is louder than the conversation I’m actually having.

12.  For me, nail polish is considered for “special occasions” because I can’t ever keep em’ nice. They’re usually kept very short with a clear polish.

13. I have big-city dreams and I PROMISE to fulfill them!

14. I STAY getting hit on by old creepers. I guess I’m special… yay  😦

15. Last but not least: There are some people who I miss terribly but will never tell. I have pride issues.