Encourage YOURSELF — The Wize Pig

We all have moments where we feel absolutely defeated. Those moments where we feel like a complete failure, or we just want to give up. Those are the moments where you have to search within yourself the will to continue. You have to encourage YOURSELF. Support from an outside source is nice and at times quite uplifting […]

via Encourage YOURSELF — The Wize Pig

The Upside(s) of Unemployment

Never in six million light years did I think this day would come. But alas, at the end of every tunnel is … no more tunnel. Here I am, about to end my jobless dry-spell and I almost wish it wasn’t over. Let me set the scene…

For the last few months I’ve been couch surfing with a friend. Thankfully my friend was insightful enough to realize I was in an terrible interesting traditional period and sorta saved me from packing it in and going home. Otherwise, I’m sure I would have given in, gotten an in-the-meantime job in retail, and by Black Friday be ready to eat my own fingers. On this couch I have cried in despair, screamed in anger, and spent (almost) every day trying to ready myself for whatever opportunity would arise. I’ve been given so much time to think; about my goals, my flaws, my drive, and my decisions thus far. I wanna get deep into analyzing the psychosis of unemployment, but I’ll save that for a separate series.

The Upsides

  1. Low-cost Fun. When your are “in between paychecks”, or as it is colloquially known, broke AF, you come to learn some really great ways to have fun on a budget. Whether it’s taking advantage of deals (on sites like Living Social or Groupon), eating BEFORE you have lunch with a friend, or restricting your travel to non-rush hour times to cut your Lyft/Uber costs (which in Miami is NEVER) you learn to pinch a penny… TIGHT! My personal favorite and most effective means of saving money has been to stay my ass at home!
    My mantra…
  2. Eating Healthy/Working Out. Honestly it’s perfect without the distractions of fast-food restaurants or being too tired from work. You can really focus on meal planning, maintaining a food journal (or use MyFitnessPal like me), taking regular walks, becoming a yoga master, and staring in the mirror until you hate your stupid unemployed face {said with glassy-eyes while smiling on only one side}.
  3. Reconnecting with Friends and Family. Having zero things to do really frees you up to talk to old friends and text all your extended family members; even your parents’ coworkers that you call aunt/uncle. WhatsApp has never gotten this much play from me before; I’m texting all my Canadian cousins! I really have taken this time to talk more often with my mom… its been a blessing and a curse. The other day she called to remind me that “…It’s almost December and you’re nearly 30, you need to get a job!” I know Mom, I know. {bleeds from eyes}
    You can’t explain this to a Jamaican parent… AT ALL!
  4. Building on Your Professionalism and Career Development. This has been the bulk of the work I’ve been doing, just in case someone does give me one of those elusive jobs.
  • Perfecting My Resume/Cover Letter. There are a bazillion resources online listing tips and tricks to get employer’s attention and how to format your resume/cover letter — I have read them ALL. Particularly, I was referred to The Muse, a career advice GODSEND! It addresses so many of the recent-grad questions and puts experts in touch with novices. It’s the Pinterest of job-stuff, sweater Gawd!
  • Engaging With Your Network. If you’ve held down a job or gone to school, or basically know any other humans, you have a professional network. It’s important to utilize those people when you’re seeking employment to changing career field. You never know who you know… and more importantly, who they know. That sounded snazzy, right? That’s just fancy-talk for “Ask everyone you meet, ‘Is y’all hiring!?‘”
  • Eliminating Procrastination. This one is a no-brainer. We’ve all been there, prioritizing  a series of completely unnecessary tasks in order to avoid what really needs doing. However, when you have LITERALLY NOTHING to do with your existence, it’s impossible to procrastinate. I’ve never been so productive! My mind is free from deadlines, restrictive authority figures, and pesky paychecks.
  • Getting in Touch With My Passions. Right about here is where I’ve been lately. Trying to figure out what my motivations are; my talents, my strengths. I’ve gotten really good picking things up with my feet and  binge watching shows in Netflix.
    Accurate.
  • What used to make me happy, and more importantly, can I make money doing those things? The Muse kinda helps with that too. 

While working on developing these things I put together a couple of habits and resources to get me through. I STAY reading, as a distraction, and to keep my mind from rusting over.    Currently reading…

There’s hope for the other employment-impaired souls.

I journal my thoughts and feelings regularly, and started what I’ve called a “Success Journal”; a log of my ideas, lessons I’ve gathered, goals, and general plans for the future. It’s also where I outline new cover letters and keep track of applications. I super suggest you adopt this, but it can’t be like undergrad. You can’t take the notes and not review them. You gotta refresh and reconnect with your ambitions.

 

And that’s how I did it. Survived unemployment with humor (although very dark at times), focus, and the support of friends and family. I’m really grateful to have you all.

In refocusing on my passions, I want to change up the blog. As you can see the appearance has changed, but I’m still looking for my style. I’m thinking a new domain name and maybe a new pen name. I wont always be negative, you know. What are your thoughts?

In parting I leave you with this,

I really do.

 

 

 

Check out a similar article at Elle Magazine!

 

 

 

 

Non-complacent, Nancy

 

 

 

Fall Cleaning

It’s that time of year again, when students like myself stuff their lives into garbage bags while toting unwieldy miniature refrigerators. Ladies and gentlemen it is MOVING SEASON! Far, far away in a land called Undergrad, sweaty, red-faced boys and girls whose leases have expired are preparing for the onset of the upcoming academic year. How do we celebrate? Our principle celebration consists of moving from one cramped or otherwise undesirable collegiate living circumstance to another; awaiting the opportunity to awkwardly introduce ourselves to a stranger that the fates have brought into out paths. In the spirit of this waonderful holiday I chose to engage in some “fall cleaning” to alleviate the clutter and busy-ness of my room. While cleaning I stumbled onto a bunch of memories I had squirreled away and discovered a few truths.

1. Keeping things for the sake of “memories” is the Hallmark card phrasal for hoarding. By that logic, that makes me a hoar. I keep meaningless items as placeholders for once-relevant sentiments. Things aren’t memories, memories are memories.  Memories don’t have mass, or occupy any quantity of volume. Hanging on to a few meaningful items is fine (as long as they don’t hinder your personal development), but when they’re middle school book reports or the crust-covered band-aids of boyfriends past, it’s time to admit you have a problem.

2. I am a self-starter. Full of enthusiasm and ambition. However I am not always a self-finisher. Some of the things I found while cleaning only proved this. Case in point:

photo 1
What is this? A scarf-beanie hybrid?
photo 2
Knit-Ninja!
photo 3
How do you WEAR this!?

So many of my projects, my dreams, my endeavors started and end like this: I start with all this jazz, get distracted or dissuaded, and eventually hide them away for the mystical day that all procrastinators believe will come. That day will be full of follow-through and commitment powered by a surge of never-before-seen responsibility. On that wondrous day I will evolve into a Level-3 GROWN-UP!!! [That’s the highest level of maturity and productivity; reserved for moms, Martha Stewart, and Michelle Obama]

3. Dissatisfaction is fuel. While fall cleaning I came down with a bad case of the sads. I was painfully dissatisfied with my achievements and started to feel so stagnant. I NEED more. From every facet. I want to finish scarves, screenplays, poems and short films. I want to pursue my goals aggressively, every one. I will hunt them down. Follow them from the grocery store and hide in their bushes.  Kill them in their sleep and watch the light die in their eyes. [WOAH! That went to a dark place!]

How about I just pursue perfection so that I can achieve excellence and we’ll leave it at that?

Welp, I’m back. The internship is over. Learned a lot. Mostly about myself. Looking forward to the end of my collegiate career. Hope this lasts.

Faith and Fall cleaning,

Roze Goes.

Are You Happy?

I am not unhappy. Moderately depressed from time to time, yes, but not UNhappy. I don’t shun smiles or darken my windows with black velvet curtains while considering tattooing on my eyeliner (although that would save me time). I just refuse to lie. There’s nothing wrong with being unhappy, so turn your smile upside down if that’s what you feel. Don’t Disney Channel censure yourself  with glittery duct tape to make others comfortable. Forget FUCK others! Smart people are often unhappy, or find fewer moments to smile, but the moments in between are GOLDEN! I would have made a terrible cheerleader, I’m certain of it. But I still could have tried. I still should have gone to a tryout and maybe I wouldn’t have been a completely horrible base; perhaps an awkwardly tall flyer. Or maybe the petite blonds at my high school would have made fun of my frizzly brown hair. Maybe I would have cried. But I’ll never know now, because smart people don’t take unnecessary risks. They don’t open themselves to fresh hurts. We just keep picking at old scabs; sojourning nightly to cemeteries to exhume fresh skeletons to populate our closets. But I take heart in my real smiles, my true laughs that start deep in the earth’s core and travel up my feet. They shake my insides, tingle my spine, and come orgasming out of my mouth. THOSE are the best. I am not unhappy. I just happen to spend 6/10 of most days deep in contemplation, turning and turning over the mechanisms of this world, terrified by its possibilities.  Living lies that are not my own  and experiencing an algorithm of emotions. This phrase alone is incalculable. I start as a prisoner in my bed, shackled by my tears, and wardened by Netflix, then suddenly I’m free. Pardoned by a selfish ray of Shawshank Redemption. I am not unhappy. Happiness isn’t two monochromatic poles, it’s a spectrum.You’re just thinking about it wrong.  At any moment I can live on any of the 50 shades of archipelago grey  in between. I am not UNhappy. Or happy. At least not all the time. Does that answer your question?

Hi … My Name is Nancy.

Negative, Nancy (In my best Sean Connery voice). All throughout middle and high school, people called me Daria. It would be years before I properly understood the reference. And yes. I am very much like her, olive-green jacket, army boots and all.

Except college has no lockers.

By the way this is an absolutely thrilling show about the travails of a young woman finding herself in the midst of consumerism,  pop culture, and peer pressure.

BLAH BLAH BLAH  Daria = cartoon Roze!!!

That being said, there always seems to be this cloud following me. And instead of being lined with silver  it occasionally rains asbestos. [I HATE clouds!!!]

Why is my life such a fart, you ask? {I have no idea how to punctuate that. Kudos to you, public school.} Mostly for a series of reasons I have concocted entirely on my own. It’s like A Beautiful Mind, except instead of making up secret operatives and omnipresent best friends, I hallucinate reasons NOT to be awesome. And then I ask strangers why they can’t see them. {If you haven’t seen this movie, EXIT! BLOG! NOW!!!}

Here’s a few of my hallucinations:

1. EVERYONE around me is in a relationship. … FALSE. It’s just hard to ignore obnoxious Siamese twins that spam Instagram with their organ-sharing gaiety.

2. The government is slowly stealing hours from the day. … FALSE. There are 24 of them, I counted once while “studying” for a final.

4. Discipline and perseverance will guarantee success in academia. … FALSE. … School is a trap engineered by alien scientists to stop us from building pyramids and communing with our ancestors.

… no wait, that was a real hallucination. I’m so sleepy…

5. I will never accumulate enough awesomeness in my mortal body to rival the likes of Beyoncé, Oprah, and Olivia Pope. … TRUE. [Can’t really contest that.] GAWD!! Scandal is cocaine and Shonda Rhimes is my PUSHER!!!

6. Professors think I’m only taking one class. HOW DARE your class need 6 textbooks!! I have 4 other like-minded instructors. I spend more time a day reading than Bobby Brown does trying to make his teeth touch! I have calluses on the index finger and thumb of my right hand, like I work out with q-tip dumbbells!

I can’t really think of anything else…

I keep asking my peers for bits of motivation, hoping I’ll stumble upon some golden truth that will cause all my chakras to align and I’ll ascend into heaven like Ray Lewis after the Superbowl. But that won’t happen. I won’t become a productive super saiyan overnight.

AAARGGHH!!! I just wanna wake up awesome one day.

The score will read Roze: 1 Life: 0. I currently reads an imaginary number for me. Like negative “i” or something as equally Ludacris. {That man will FOREVER taint the spelling of that word. Him and Fabolous}

I forget what I’m talking about. I’m tired! Bye!

… Apparently I over-use the word awesome. I’m getting help.

Welcome Back Kotter!

I’M BACK!!!!! So here’s a quick update…

1. I’ve missed you guise!! So busy with school which started a day late to “hurricane” Isaac. Down here we take hurricanes, and subsequently hurricane days, very seriously!

We missed a whole day of school and since then, the academic year is has been going by Usain Bolt fast! I’m taking more classes this semester than ever before in a last-ditch attempt to graduate on time. “On Time”being a terrible misrepresentation of my graduation date expectations. When people ask my expected graduation date, as they inevitably do, I tell them “It’s rude to ask a lady that sort of question!” and promptly storm off. [“I said Good Day, sir!”] The first week of classes is filled with welcome back activities and my least favorite – icebreakers. I DESPISE icebreakers, whether they be at work, school, or narcotic dependence groups. Nowhere else in life are you forced to stand before a crowd and proclaim useless facts about yourself in front of individuals actively searching for F%@&!s to give! [*checks pockets* Sorry]

What else… hmm…

I HATE hair! I know you’re probably thinking ‘I know, because you don’t have any’, and you’d be right! All of my roommates have long, flowing #*^&%@$! locks and I want  to shave em all in their sleep, every one of em! It gets everywhere. It impregnates the fabric of my realty; on the ground, in the shower, clinging to my socks! It weaves its way into the carpet and burrows into the thread of my clothing. There is nowhere I can go to escape!. It’s like hair is Agent Smith and he’s found his way into Zion [aw no more underground techno party]. I don’t know what to do, maybe I’ll sneak Nair into their shampoo bottles…

I’m coming to realize that twenty-four hours is all I’m getting per day, so I need to just attempt to do everything I can. No, I haven’t learned the evils if procrastination, I’m just going to go Ape-$#!T until I learn time-management skills. Oh, good news, the brokeness is over. I promise I’ll do better about posting.

In parting I leave you with this.

Back-to-school and depilatories,

Roze

Good Morning!

What sunrise would look like if you lived on Pride Rock… I guess.

I do some of my foggiest thinking this time of day. Still trying to shake off the remnants of sleep lurking in my periphery. Fiercely clinging to the whimsy of dreams I only half remember. Today I am catapulted into positivity by an otherwise unrecognizable well-rested and well-read Roze. John Legend can say it better than I.

On the flip-side, so can Phil Wade. (hopefully this will help you shake the sleepies) Start at 2:20!

This morning I read Job chapter 35 and a few pages from a book called “How to Be Happy Dammit: A Cynic’s Guide to Spiritual Happiness“.  Go check it out, it’s full of all kinds of sarcastic motivation; complete with anecdotes and examples. If Oprah says it’s legit then your opinion is not needed.

Also, I’m wondering when my alarm clock decided to turn over a new leaf? It’s not the same loud annoying ratchet alarm clock it used to be. It used to feel like a hammer against my skill when I was a freshman, now it’s a soft polite knock at the foot of my bed. Maybe I’m growing up. Maybe I want to get up and start my day; conquer a few worlds, enslave foreign lands and pillage them for their natural resources. (No, wait that was Avatar)

I have an idea for new alarm clocks. When the preset time arrives, your alarm clock should blare a motivational playlist you created while shouting inspirational messages. [plays “Good Morning” by John Legend while screaming “YOU LOOK REALLY TALL TODAY!!!”]

Welp, anywho, these are just ideas. Here’s some of my morning playlist (DONT JUDGE ME!):

alarm clocks and eye boogers,

Roze

Oh and this man with the sexy accent makes some good points (while eerily looking like Harry Potter)

Super Sigh…

You guys, I’m feeling BRIGHT gray right about now…

how i’m feeling right now

This is terrible… I don’t wanna do anything! help me out, gimme some words of wisdom… set a fire under my bum! I’m in a rut!

The Little Engine That Couldn’t…

What if the story had gone differently? What if it were “The Little Engine That Didn’t Give a $#!%”, or “The Little Engine That Didn’t Believe in Going Above and Beyond”? Would we still read it to our youngsters? Would it still be the motivational tale of a caboose that was last but most certainly not least? Heck no! That, ladies and gentlefingers is why I’ll never be a kids story. The Moderately Sized Roze That Quit. I’m like a reluctant caterpillar. I know what the next step is but I’m too tied up in predictable mediocrity. I won’t push the rest  of the train on over the hill, because hills are high… and scary. I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to become the beautiful butterfly because cocoons are dark… and scary. “CAN’T … STOP… EATING… LEAVES!” Every day is the day I’m going to change… WTF!

Procrastination will be the death of me… but then I’ll be late to my funeral.

Ice Cream and Confuscious Say

 
Today in Wal-Mart while staring at miniature cups of ice cream I arrived at a few conclusions…  January is coming to a close, and I’m already SEVERELY slacking on my “resolutions”. Resolution #1: Don’t make resolutions. Change today, and don’t taint your goals with commercial commitment … yeah, right.  I succumbed to all the usual ones; weight loss, grades, better job, as well as a few personal ones intended to foster my self-growth. So far, I’m exactly the same height, weight, GPA, and tax bracket. I wasn’t expecting all my dreams to come true over night, but SHEESH!, NO progress!?
 
While trying to determine whether or not the mini cups of Haagen-Dazs at 4/$5 were worth it, the answer came to me. It was almost like magical writing on a wall;  in this case, frosty scrawling on a glassy freezer door. Nevertheless, dazzling and impressive. (BTW: I decided on “Cherry Garcia” by Ben & Jerry’s) Although this may sound like kindergarten wisdom, I make things happen. I turn doorknobs, I pick my nose, I paint and repaint the fingernails of my right hand because my hand-eye coordination is SHIT! I do all these things. I sit idly by and lose staring contests with my to-do lists. (Dammit I ALWAYS blink!) I’m avoiding my responsibilities right now… *sigh*
 
Conclusion numero tres…  I am a pink-belly’d LOSER when it comes to some peer-pressure. Not even the cool kind to puff the magic dragon or drink the Devil’s bath water. (I don’t actually know anyone that calls them these things.) I fold under the pressure of “Hey Roze let’s go to the movies” knowing damn well I have homework, or “Let’s make a quick trip to the mall”. NO MALL TRIP HAS EVER BEEN QUICK!!! I don’t think I place enough value on what is truly important to me. I’m always fulfilling these roles for OTHER people’s happiness. I should have been asleep HOURS ago… but instead I’m here talking to you guys. SEE WHAT YOU DO TO ME!? SELFISH!!!
In Middle school we listened to a speaker talk about how to overcome peer-pressure with certain steps.
It went something like this …
These moves also kinda sound like they can be used in a Kung-Fu battle. (How dare you insult my dojo, I’ve shown you mercy, but NO MORE *roundhouse kick to the face*) I think I’ll practice them right now. *takes deep breath, assumes the position, uses healthy “I FEEL” statements to avoid placing blame* “I FEEL like a lot of my acquaintances are wasting my time. I FEEL like ‘Law & Order’ is a deliberate plot against my education. I FEEL like ice cream shouldn’t be that damn expensive. I FEEL that procrastination is a genetic defect that is unfortunately the dominant allele therefor anyone that would research it, is putting it of till tomorrow because ‘[they’ll] be more productive then’.”
 
Random Thoughts:
1. I had to Google the past tense of succumb
2. I’ve been eating a FUCKLOAD of chocolate-covered mini-donuts lately
3. I have an unhealthy obsession with “mini” things
4. I have a test on the 6th that I’m about as prepared for it as one can be for a root canal
5. I’m in a random flexy area in my life and I don’t really know WTF I’m doing most of the time
6. I think 5 things is enough things… cool
7. Notice I never listed any more resolutions… #mindheck
 
I just wanna pass go and collect $200 already… AAARRGHHH!!!!

Am I Suffering From Life-lag?

I’m having a hard time adjusting to fame… no wait, school (I’m sorry, I thought I was Drake again). The semester has started but I’m in a fog. I haven’t started studying or working on my extracurricular activities. None of it seems real. I feel like the cloudy part of the Claritin-D commercial.  No over-the-counter antihistamine can help me. I NEED a swift kick in the pants… without the foot though (feet are gross). I made a to-do list… wanna see? It looks like this…

To-do List

1. make a to-do list

… that’s all I have.

… I don’t even have any muffins

I feel like this.

Someone help. It’s like someone is holding my enthusiasm hostage, but my negotiator is busy on Tumblr. I have the will power of the average fruit fly right about now. Oh, and I broke my glasses… fun! If you have any words to stir my spirit, or call me to action, keep them to yourself… I’m just gonna live in this rut for a while. *FROWN*

(W)here’s (T)he (F)rosting?

I’m getting sick and tired of beind sick and tired of my gotdang self. Like so many panes of colored glass yet unpolished; so incredibly opaque that my window is unintelligible. How could anyone appreciate me when I can’t even see the beauty in myself….yet. I’m so rough, so unfinished, so lackluster. I’m so unspeakably unsatisfied in myself that it cripples me. Because I make no progress, I make no progress. I’m literally a walking catch-22… how is that? Someone help. I’m sitting by the mailbox waiting for an invitation to greatness. I’ll wait forever… grow grey and collect dust if I don’t take what is mine. Call MYSELF to arms. I need a good kick in the pants. Btw… I need to look up synonyms for the word multifaceted… pronto!