4 Lessons Adulting Has Taught Me!

Adulting. Adulteration. Grownup-ism. Maturiosity.

On this quest to adequately love myself, I have realized quite a few truths. Peculiar truths regarding the accouterments of adulthood.

  1. Sometimes, adulthood is just making bad decisions (or ones that just feel bad) and sticking with them. Whether it’s seeing out a terrible job, paying all your bills early and leaving yourself nothing to live on, or eating lackluster Pinterest salads for the rest of the week. Sometimes you just have to suck it up to achieve your goal: making money, becoming debt-free, or leading a healthier lifestyle.
  2. Traffic is the manifestation of Satan. It may be difficult to see examples of God in our lives, but we can all agree that traffic, particularly the traffic on the way to work, is the hand of Lucifer in action.f7e128c37eb39f7e6bd918c2fa16eebf
  3. College throws you together with like-minded and like-scheduled youngsters. It also tears those bonds asunder when cap and gown are in hand. Now, out here in the “real world”, it requires effort [gags]. In light of this I have gone places, talked to strangers, and been added to TWO never-not-notifying group chats full of lively young persons. It is… fun?
  4. You will never just be “good”. You can never coast. You’re never comfortable. I will always want more or be just a little dissatisfied. There’s always more schooling to be had, and someone younger or seemingly more qualified. But you will always have the upper hand, so long as you are you. Free yourself of the need to keep up with the imaginary Jones’ {plot twist: they’re having an affair} or sustain appearances, just work hard and do your best. (Like Grandma taught me)

And finally…

Peep the link to my Pinterest board about Adulting,  hope you find it helpful! Also, this Buzzfeed post is my life!

Roze Goes

Freedom Fighter

Who will fight for me? With balled fists and hoarse throats? For my restless spirit, my tired smile. Who will wake every morning and tend to my bruised heart; whispering reassurances across its weakened valves, pushing blood to my cold fingers and toes. Who everyday remind me of what I deserve; spinning a fairy tale web of my prince over the horizon? Who will issue me my badges of honor for fighting valiantly through every heartbreak? Who will work tirelessly to put together my sharp jigsaw puzzle pieces with darting eyes and bloodied fingers? I will; quietly and reluctantly. Trying hard to forget that this isn’t the first time. I would rather leave them broken and irreparable. If stay brokenhearted there can be no heart to break. I paint the picket signs and hang the barbed wire you crawled through to get here. I refill the moat with unimaginable bloodthirsty beasts. An inevitable enterprise, an exercise in futility. I undo myself each night. Unlock the doors and crack the windows, let you in every time. Faceless invader with big hands and kind smile. Rob me. Take everything. My love is not for me. A renewable resource. My threshold so high that I sweeten my tears with coffee. I will fight, and I will lose. perforated armor and empty grenades. I will fight for me, and I will lose with all my heart.

While You Were Out…

I’m like a baby. Well, more like a peek-a-boo enthusiast. Once I put my hands over my eyes, the universe implodes into an unfathomable white hole. At least that’s what I think happens when I neglect to post for a while. I’m sure that’s not the case at all. Your lives probably continue; reluctantly checking your emails, being scolded at Starbucks when you call a ‘tall’ a ‘small’, and washing the whites you’ve saved up for three months.  Rather than regaling you with the ins and outs of my obviously posh life fill of celebrity and adventure, I’ll do what I’m good at; making lists. My life for the last couple of months in pictures and videos.

1…. met Rosario Dawson. She’s pretty bad-ass!

2. Homecoming 2012. I’m the girl in the suit!

I’m like a 2012 Grace Jones!

3. I’m in love with this song and video! It’s like Tumblr had a baby with Rihanna and gave birth on VEVO!

4. I’m actually doing really well in school this semester and am  hoping to finish this semester off strong, although senioritis is a B!$H! On the upside, the semester’s coming swiftly to an end!

5. .. been playing a lot lately with bow ties and androgyny. The perks of being a baldie!

6. There was this guy, and he ran for President, but he didn’t quite win. This guy was his Public Relations Coordinator. Explains itself.

YAY!!! Romney – Ryan!!!

7. I’ve been getting better and waking up early to start productive and fulfilling days. They start off with yoga, meditation, and yogurt and end promptly with that. I dropped a post. Like to read it, here it goes!


… and then a little interpretive dance…

8. I have truly come into form. I’m a genuine Jamaican! [insert stereotype about multiple jobs here] Two jobs and I’m searching for a third. I have goals. Non-free goals. Those non-free goals require money, American money. BUT when I get off, it looks something like this…

Um… I can’t think of anything else right now. I’ve missed you terribly. How come you don’t call me anymore!?


Dormtainment is SO Funny!

Fell in love with Dormtainment a long time ago and this is their latest web video. I give it 5 stars on the hilarity scale. Everyone raps, Mike is shirtless, and Tay is wearing a Kangol hat… what more can you ask for!? Everything they make is FIRE. It’s a parody of 1980s rap with a positive message and few of their classic antics.
“Old School Jam”
Wha-what-what hey hey! Wha-what-what-what Ho HOOO!!! (watch the video in 280p for a more authentic “You MTV Raps!” feel) Watch, enjoy, repeat!
Don’t forget to watch the rest of their videos at www.dormtainment.com

DO YOU (Uncle Sam Finger) have the $W#@?

This made me super-laugh! (That’s a laugh endowed with otherworldly power from parents on Krypton) For all those that mightily ride their bedazzled cheetah-printed surfboards in their freshest Hot-Topic gear atop the glitter waves of swag, I am talking to you! You’re not original, you’re not interesting, you’re not worth getting to know.

Symptoms of the Swag Flu:
1. tight (sometimes colored) jeans
2. brightly colored graphic tees
3. vans, jays, exclusive Nikes
4. back-pocket bandanas or tails
5. fitted caps
6. vests (of any fabric)
7. photo-shopped Facebook pics
8. ungodly #of jackets (on/off your body)
9. possession of 1 or more Lil B mixtapes
10. plethora of piercings
11. tattoos only where ppl can see
This pandemic has to be vaccinated! These people need to be rehabilitated and Tumblr only causes relapses and outbreaks. Or otherwise everyone with it has to die like the Bubonic plague. Wow… that’d be 1/3 of the earth’s population. Imagine the economic upturn afterward! I approve!!
Shoutout to @KiidTalkShiit

(W)here’s (T)he (F)rosting?

I’m getting sick and tired of beind sick and tired of my gotdang self. Like so many panes of colored glass yet unpolished; so incredibly opaque that my window is unintelligible. How could anyone appreciate me when I can’t even see the beauty in myself….yet. I’m so rough, so unfinished, so lackluster. I’m so unspeakably unsatisfied in myself that it cripples me. Because I make no progress, I make no progress. I’m literally a walking catch-22… how is that? Someone help. I’m sitting by the mailbox waiting for an invitation to greatness. I’ll wait forever… grow grey and collect dust if I don’t take what is mine. Call MYSELF to arms. I need a good kick in the pants. Btw… I need to look up synonyms for the word multifaceted… pronto!

Zombism: A Threat Undetected

As you read this, millions are at risk but are blissfully unaware. As you read these lines those millions are preoccupied with their YouTube and Facebook accounts; with their sensationalized newspaper headlines and they are content with their bustling and for the time-being satisfying lives. Each of them is only acutely aware of an indescribable danger. We feel it when we turn on the news and see ravaged people in other countries suffering other fates, from other diseases; but not here, and not us. Not in our hometowns and not to our neighbors. We have institutes and precautionary systems with haughty acronyms and emergency alarms so we need not worry. However, a threat waits on the vanguard of disaster, one for which we have no plans, no precautions. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) should include in its archives the danger that an outbreak of Zombism (the condition of being a zombie) would pose and take measures to protect United States Citizens if ever reanimated corpses infected with a flesh-eating, mind-controlling virus were to rise up against us.

First we must inquire as to why the CDC would be the best organization for such an undertaking and not a faction of the armed forces. Zombism is most like a bio-terror threat and hails from a viral or bacterial origin. These types of dealings are well within the realm of knowledge of the CDC and the mechanics of an army of the undead, more correctly known as “life-impaired” (Maynard), would best be addressed through this healthcare perspective.

Currently, the CDC provides information about diseases, epidemics, and pandemics (Office) and classifies the level of danger for each outbreak of a threatening disease. The CDC also presents information about the symptoms, cause, and preventions of ailments and even steps in to quell incidents of disease too severe to be handled by simple individuals or area hospitals. In the tomes collected by the CDC chronicling a cornucopia of diseases, not one mention is made of the threat of Zombism (I should know, I checked. The only “Z” word is Zosters).

Although the CDC is one of the most reputable and efficient glossaries providing information on everything from “African Trypanosomiasis” to “Zosters” (Office), it fails to protect us from one of the most fabled threats featured in Science Fiction the world over. Although out breaks of Zombism have been vastly unreported it is hardly impossible to think

that a combination of ailments under the right conditions could bring to life the utmost of horrors. The CDC could at least step in and rate this as a plausible threat so that observers can be made wary and prepare. In the case of the swine flu (also known as the H1N1 Virus), the CDC previously gave it a Phase 6 rating meaning that it was on its way to becoming a global pandemic (Division) and interceded with measures of quarantine and testing as well as international travel restriction. Why couldn’t such a step be taken in the way of the Zombie threat?

You may be thinking to yourself, “Well how can I spot and/or prepare for a Zombie epidemic?” and “What if a legion of the Life-Impaired are already noshing on my skull cleft open like a hard-boiled egg?” For the latter I have absolutely no advice. For the former, however I urge you to research the symptoms and precursors. Here is a brief overview: First there must be the initial death necessary for the epidemic to ensue. There must be one or more unusually gruesome casualties (Maynard). These newly dead will serve as the drones. We may look toward a bacteria that already exists and causes the death of many in a seemingly pre zombie manner. This bacterium is known as Necrotizing Fasciitis, also known as the “Flesh-Eating Disease” (Vorvick). Perhaps somehow the bacterium has the potential to become mobile by using the body of a host to consume the flesh of others. My theory is somewhat vague in its explanation for the reanimation process but there will be no need for explanation when the life-impaired (Maynard) individuals are walking the streets. There will also need to be the defenseless or isolated living inhabiting a post-war or post disease world for zombies to attack and obtain fresh flesh from.

Fear not. Well, fear less, because there are measures that we can take. There is a buzz amongst some that prompts them to be prepared for all sorts of disaster-related, apocalyptic, instances. These overly cautious, paranoid, shut-ins believe that “Disaster[s] [are] going to happen … and …will strike without warning” (Preparedness) and have put together kits for surviving a wealth of circumstances along with instructional videos and books. In these kits you can find rations for food and water as well as batteries and impromptu shelter (Preparedness). As a personal addition, I feel that hand washing can be a simple but efficacious weapon against impending doom of all shapes and sizes. Proper and frequent hand washing impedes the motility of microbes than can be transmitted through mucus membranes and into the body (Staff, Mayo). There they may result in a cold, flu, or a bloodthirsty, drooling agent of the damned. If nothing else, it makes your hands smell nice. Who wouldn’t enjoy a pleasantly fragrant hand?

To conclude, the threat is indeed somewhat real. Zombism, although a stretch, could be a viable danger to the world as we know it. As it stands, we have no established protection from such a hazard and would be left entirely dumfounded in the face of a mobilized unprecedented evil. The dead should stay that way and no amount of “Quality-of-life” arguments could change my mind. The CDC needs to take responsibility for its constituents and provide in its database public information about the symptoms, causes, and preventative measures entailed with zombism.