Happy Valentimes Day!

Let me first start off by stating that I absolutely HATE when people pronounce it “Valentimes Day”. When is Valentime? Point to it on a clock! When in the calendar year is it Valentime!? If you pronounce it this way, you don’t deserve any chalky heart-shaped antacid candies.  deserve to eat ONLY chalky heart-shaped antacid candies! FOREVER!!!

Moving on…

Pal-entine’s Day, Gal-entine’s Day, Single’s Awareness Day… For semi-Bitter Bettys and Barrys such as myself, this past February 14th took on a slightly different tone than the mainstream. For many of us it was a silent massacre. Millions of eligible bachelor’s and bachelorette’s unwanted bodies strewn about highways and workplaces; their faces twisted in agony with cold eyes glossed over. Tortured mercilessly, some for days, with your stories of how “Bae surprised me. He/She/It/They are sooo thoughtful!” We lept like lemmings to our deaths.

1328485800301_8043646
As if you didn’t know you were single on the 13th !

For me, it consisted of staring at my phone, rolling/thrashing on the couch, and sort of mumble-sobbing. Mind you, I’m usually that emotional on every other day, it just FELT more poignant on that day… you know, on account of the nationwide peer pressure. (Note to whomever: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT get onto any social media on any holiday ever! Just don’t. Even Leif Ericsson Day.)

Moving on…

I’m gonna talk with (not TO, because I’m not your mom) you about what I, and perhaps you, SHOULD have done if you were V and/or D-less on Alentine’s Ay.

What you should have done was look yourself in the eye (with the aid of a mirror, I guess) and realized where love in your life MUST originate. It has to start with you. And its going to take work.

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This is what I want you to say in the mirror!

“The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from the work of loving yourself.”  – Sahaj Kohli 

I know how it sounds, but without self love you will search for someone to love you, and you WILL be disappointed. In truth, you’re looking for someone to give you everything you need, and that person already exists. [clears throat and prepares for how lame this will sound:] YOU ARE YOUR SOUL MATE!  [rolls eyes aggressively] Other people can only compliment you, they will not be a balm for every wound, address every fear or concern, and they will not/ cannot be your source of happiness. That well must spring from within. Otherwise, when theirs dries up you will be back at square one again, and the hunt for wholeness will continue. If/when they leave, you will be the worst kind of alone.

Moving on…

What does loving yourself look like? To know that, you’ll have to dig deep. Really examine many of your current and past relationships. Relationships of all kinds: friends, lovers, co-workers, and even enemies. They’re all vital in the shaping of your self-love. If you think about the way they made you feel, and the actions that yielded  those feelings, you’ll put together a sort of make-shift recipe for self love. How can you replicate that satisfaction for and in yourself? This same process of personal-inventory will reveal to you what you can do in relationships with others to yield more satisfaction.

My Self Love Recipe

3 tbs. of regular physical activity               1/2 tsp. reaffirming motivation

1 cup of positive self-talk                             1 lb. of workplace fulfillment

1 tbs. hanging out with friends                  1/2 cup music and dancing

1/2 cup working on a passion/hobby         1/2 cup alone time (not TOO much)

1/2 tsp. getting cute and going out              1 cap-full of Moscato

1 pinch of new experiences

*1 handful of sexy chocolate man (can substitute caramel or macadamia)

* for experienced bakers ready to involve a partner

77300-treat-yo-self-meme-bc7hMoving on…

Finally, for my Bitter Bettys and Barrys, my sisters and brothers, don’t forget that Valentine’s Day is just a capitalistic ploy by  THE MAN to shift from what’s really going on… BLACK HISTORY MONTH!!! [raises fist emphatically]

In parting I leave you with this,

Love your self. Black, white, alone, in a relationship, sorta short, freckly or what have you.

Remember to follow and join the mailing list. Love you! Kiss your mom for me!

Roze Goes

February 14th is a Tuesday.

That’s it. It’s just a day. But, as powerful sentient beings we choose and create occasions to venerate. We make important that which we desire. Craft the world around us. Curate our experiences. Choose the people in our lives like players in a roster. Feed what we want to grow. Thus, an international outpouring of infatuate love. Valentine’s Day, and all the meaning that we’ve assigned it, could just as well be July 9th, or October 30th! {hint!}

Don’t get lost. Don’t forget about Black History Month! Remember to assign meaning to things on your own terms. You can’t be upset by something that never had power. Something that was never significant enough to disturb your peace. Don’t let Valentines Day be the dam in your river; even if you and your boo are #relationshipgoals

Be the sky; regardless of clouds or rain.

Today Valentine’s Day looks like this for me:

It started with fitful sleep and fearful dreams. I love myself. Then an overdraft notification. I love myself. Then I made lunch without pants. Super love myself. A great workout! I’m seeing the results of loving myself. Got dressed up cute. I love me… and makeup! Now I’m hammering it out at work. Giving 100%. I love my professional self, even while I’m looking for other opportunities, and figuring it out as I go.

I love you, too!

Roze Goes… to Taco Tuesday!

                                           

…Last year’s V-Day post…

Happy Valentimes Day

Let me first start off by stating that I absolutely HATE when people pronounce it “Valentimes Day”. When is Valentime? Point to it on a clock! When in the calendar year is it Valentime!? If you pronounce it this way, you don’t deserve any chalky heart-shaped antacid candies.  deserve to eat ONLY chalky heart-shaped antacid candies! FOREVER!!!

Moving on…

Pal-entine’s Day, Gal-entine’s Day, Single’s Awareness Day… For semi-Bitter Bettys and Barrys such as myself, this past February 14th took on a slightly different tone than the mainstream. For many of us it was a silent massacre. Millions of eligible bachelor’s and bachelorette’s unwanted bodies strewn about highways and workplaces; their faces twisted in agony with cold eyes glossed over. Tortured mercilessly, some for days, with your stories of how “Bae surprised me. He/She/It/They are sooo thoughtful!” We leapt like lemmings to our deaths.

1328485800301_8043646
As if you didn’t know you were single on the 13th !

For me, it consisted of staring at my phone, rolling/thrashing on the couch, and sort of mumble-sobbing. Mind you, I’m usually that emotional on every other day, it just FELT more poignant on that day… you know, on account of the nationwide peer pressure. (Note to whomever: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT get onto any social media on any holiday ever! Just don’t. Even Leif Ericsson Day.)

Moving on…

Read the rest of the post Here!

 

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